Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Victory Dance

Sometimes I get down. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. However in cases such as those, I've found a surefire way to mitigate the feelings of depression and melancholy: victory dance.

Doesn't it look like fun when Rocky does it? Raising your hands above your head and dancing around victoriously can provide one with the illusory feeling of just having achieved victory. Try it. It's difficult to feel sad or angry during a victory dance. Have you ever seen anybody crying tears of sadness as they performed a victory dance? Or making an angry face? It doesn’t even matter if you haven’t accomplished anything. Or have you? Aren't you feeling a little less like a loser and more like a winner? Losers don't get to put their arms up in the air while dancing around. No, that's an activity reserved for winners.

And if anybody looks at you funny, all you have to do is start chanting, “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”* How can anybody knock you for that? If someone makes a snide remark, who’s the asshole then? It is probably best not to do this in countries other than the United States though.

*Possible side effect of the "U.S.A." chant includes getting pumped up, so use sparingly. Works against ghosts.

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