Celebrity Sightings - Dani Pudi

So how do I explain this? I saw, but kind of didn't see Dani Pudi of NBC's "Community." My brother and I were on the way to Channel 101 (which, if you haven't been to, you should), and whilst preparing to park, I saw someone who looked like a brown Jamie Lee Curtis from behind. I would say Dani Pudi has a unique head shape and coloration. I pointed him out to my brother who corroborated my suspicions. We figured that he was going to attend Channel 101, which would make sense considering that one of the founding members is Dan Harmon, creator "Community," one of the other founding members is Rob Schraab, who directed an episode of "Community" (the excellent "Law & Order" parody episode "Basic Lupine Urology") and many people from Channel 101 have made appearances on "Community."

But when we got there, he never showed up. What gives? My brother and I were sure that it was him. After we got out, we even snooped around the area, checking out a nearby restaurant to see if that's where he was. Alas, we couldn't find him, and neither of us are on Twitter or are willing to sign up for Twitter so that we can @danipudi "where u at?". Oh well, it was still cool, cool, cool.

Celebrity Sightings - DJ Lance

So my niece really enjoys "Yo Gabba Gabba." I find it pretty entertaining as well. The songs are so catchy.

While attending this month's Channel 101 (which you should go to, too), I spotted a hipster black guy. Now, there aren't a lot of black people who attend Channel 101. In fact, my brother and I probably make up the majority of the minority attendance. So every black person who isn't Demorge Brown kind of stands out. Except that this time the black person was DJ Lance (AKA Lance Robertson) from "Yo Gabba Gabba!" I got pretty excited, but as is my habit I didn't bother him. Since he wasn't dressed up as DJ Lance, he looked a little different. He was dressed all in brown, a far cry from his orange get up. But in his back pocket he had an orange fro pick! Just like DJ Lance would have!

I've been going to Channel 101 for some time now. I wonder if I'll see any more celebrities there?

Celebrity Sightings - Kevin Pollack

I was feeling stressed out, so I decided to take in a movie, "21 Jump Street." Imagine my surprise when I saw Kevin Pollack (Todd Hockney in "The Usual Suspects," among many other movie parts) and his young girlfriend (his words, not mine) at the automated ticket kiosk getting tickets. I didn't know what he was watching, and didn't want to bother him while he was on a date. Imagine my surprise again when I take my seat in the theater, and I'm sitting right next to them. Now this is coincidence as the seating at the Century City AMC is assigned, and I did not know what movie they were planning to watch.

Now at this point I only suspected it was him since he looked a little different out of makeup. But when the trailers started to roll and he let out a burst of a laugh, I knew it was him. He really enjoyed the "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" trailer by the way.

Now he was good in "The Usual Suspects," and I enjoyed his cameo in "Wayne's World 2," and his impressions of William Shatner and Christopher Walken are second to none. But the one thing I wanted to comment to him on? That one TV show where he had sex with a robot played by Heather Parkhurst and got his penis stuck inside her. Yeah, so I guess it was good I didn't bother him on his date?

This marks the second celebrity I've seen at the Century City mall. Another time I saw Keanu Reeves. He was tall, but with his stubble and messy hair, he looked just like a regular dude.

Celebrity Sightings - Tim Roth

To celebrate Sister C's birthday, we went to Houston's in Pasadena. While there, who do you think came up and sat in the booth behind us? Why, Mr. Orange himself, Tim Roth. Actually it was my sister who spotted him, and I confirmed after hearing his British accent. I tried to tell Brother G, and the whole time he thought I had said, "Kid Rock." To get a better glimpse, I casually made my way to the bathroom with the video screens in the urinals. He was there with a lady friend.

Afterwards my brother and I admitted that we both wished he had been Gary Oldman instead. That way we would have had a lot more to talk to him about. Things like, "I know who Batman is! It's millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne!" Or, "how can you be a crazy DEA agent and also be the commissioner of Gotham City?" Or "why did you have such weird hair and why were you so mean to Bruce Willis?" Or "who would win in a fight, Harry Potter or Batman?"

Celebrity Sightings - Snooki

It depresses me very much to say this, but yesterday I saw Snooki from MTV's "Jersey Shore." She was signing autographs in the booth across from ours. No pictures because I wouldn't do you like that. This is a major downgrade from Sasha Vujacic ("the Douche") whom I saw at the last show and whom I also hate.

Snooki is very small, so much so that her standee, which is not that big, is still taller than her. She also has no waist—it's like legs, hips, chest, head. She really does look like an Oompa-Loompa, minus the green hair.

However from talking to the owners of the company for whom she's a spokesperson, she's very quiet and nice. They had dinner at her suite at the Palms, and went with her to the Playboy Club. She was always surrounded by security.

While I think that "Jersey Shore" is some of the worst of what America has to offer the world, it's all a part of what makes America great. If a small, orange girl can get famous for making a fool out of herself, then anyone should be able to make it with a little bit of luck and determination, and I definitely can't sweat her for milking her 15 minutes. You have to get while the gettin's good.

Celebrity Sightings - Denzel Washington

When I was attending UCLA, I used to count the dozens of Ferraris, Masseratis, Lotuses (or is that Loti?), and Lamborghinis that used to pass by while I waited for the bus, and I thought to myself that the majority of people in the US let alone the world probably won’t see any of these exotic cars up close in their entire lives. I understand that in many ways I live a privileged life, even though I might take it for granted. So I pass along my celebrity sightings which may in many ways make me seem jaded or indifferent, but I feel as though helps to put perspective the cult of celebrity since celebrities are people, too, and have their own lives to live. They just do so under a slight bit more public scrutiny.

This past Tuesday night, I had a dinner meeting at the Polo Lounge in the posh Beverly Hills Hotel, so I was on the lookout for celebrities. When we walked into the restaurant, I spotted perhaps the biggest star I’ve ever seen doing one of the most normal things you could imagine. Denzel Washington was sitting in a booth having what I assume was a pleasant dinner and conversation. Not particularly exciting at all, and yet many people would be excited to have had the experience.

Now compare that to the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” whom one of my dinner mates commented were sitting behind us outside on the patio. Nowadays anybody can become a celebrity by virtue of having the camera placed on you for any number of minutes regardless of whether any talent is involved. They were celebrating a birthday and were engaged in very boisterous discourse with a good deal of candor and swearing. Between the Denzel and the Real Housewives, the Real Housewives present a more entertaining experience, whereas Denzel was perhaps a bigger story. Either way, I got to enjoy a very delicious meal (unfortunately no pics because it was a business dinner) and went home a little fatter that night.

Celebrity Sightings - Mark Pender

Keeping on the topic of Conan this week, I'll recount the time I met Mark "Loveman" Pender from the Basic Cable Band (formerly the Max Weinberg Seven). Mark Pender is the bald guy with glasses that plays the trumpet, and is often included in bits where he overzealously gets into singing songs.

I met him at New York Comic-Con three years ago shortly after NBC had announced that Conan was taking over the Tonight Show. He was there for the day with his young daughter. He stopped by our booth so both Queen Poo and I mentioned how we were big fans of the show. Even if we hadn't know who he was, he was also wearing a Late Night with Conan O'Brien jacket for staff only. We chatted with him for a bit and asked whether or not he'd be moving to Los Angeles (at the time it wasn't clear whether Conan was going to take the Max Weinberg Seven with him). While he loved New York, he didn't love the harsh winters and said he looked forward to warm Southern California.

He was very friendly and cordial and we had a nice conversation. He mentioned his daughter was a fan of manga, so we gave her a copy of one of our books.

I'm glad he's back with the band on "Conan," as his presence would have been greatly missed. No one can hold a note like he can on the trumpet during the pre-show, except maybe La Bamba.

Celebrity Sightings - Chris Parnell

So in my life, I've had the good fortune of running into three cast members of "In Living Color," one member of "Mad TV," and two from "SNL." Today's story is about one of the "SNL" people.

Chris Parnell came into Mail Boxes, Etc. once needing help with a package. After offering him some suggestions on what he could do he eventually opted not to send the package. He wasn't exactly cool about it, but then again he wasn't a complete dick. I chalked it up to the stress of commuting between L.A. and New York. Or maybe it was because he had gotten fired from "SNL" only to be rehired the season after.

It's fine though, since he went on to play Dr. Spaceman on "30 Rock" and Cyril in "Archer." Watch "Archer" everyone!

Celebrity Sightings - More Luke Perry

Guess who has a blog and got to see Luke Perry topless? That's right, this guy.

While doing some errands at my Gma's house I saw Luke Perry trimming the hedges above his fence. Topless. Sweat glistening off his well-toned upper torso. So eat your hearts out, you time-traveling teenage girls from the early 90's, I know you wish you were me, and vice versa (a time machine would be so totally rad!).

Still not the best Luke Perry story I have, though. Psst, check out the earlier Luke Perry run-in. Beware, swearing was involved. And possibly nudity?

Celebrity Sightings - Tony Todd

Tony Todd is one of those actors who has a memorable voice and face, but most people don't know his name. He's been in such films as "Night of the Living Dead" (the Tom Savini version), "The Rock" ("You know how this shit works?"), "Final Destination," and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." But he is perhaps best remembered as the titular character of the "Candyman" series in which he plays the Candyman, the vengeful spirit of an urban legend similar to Bloody Mary. Chant Candyman's name four times (or was it five?) and he'll appear with his hook-hand and bees at his command.

I saw Tony Todd at a Rubio's in West L.A. He was pretty tall, and unmistakable as who could ever forget the Candyman? He was there with a friend, and although he stood out, people weren't swarming him. I don't understand why. Who wouldn't want the Candyman's autograph?

Celebrity Sightings - David Cross

Living in L.A., you bump into so many celebrities that sometimes you forget. Case in point, the time I saw David Cross at Souplantation. Now I'm not a particularly big fan of Souplantation (honestly I hate it). Their all-you-can-eat lunch feels like a rip off since meat is as scarce as a hippo at a hipster hip-hop fest. But for some reason I was there, by myself, when I saw David Cross, also looking somewhat dissatisfied, as he jotted notes down in a booklet. He was probably writing jokes about how Souplantation doesn't really offer as many soups as you would expect ("Souplantation, more like craplantation") and how they somehow managed to demeatify as much of their food as possible. Donny think crappy.

Celebrity Sightings - Heather Graham

I know what you're wondering ... And yes, she has very nice, uh ... skin, yeah, very fine, almost translucent, and free of blemishes. I could make out the veins beneath the surface her skin she was so delicate.

She came into Mail Boxes, Etc. one day and I had the good fortune of helping her. She was a very pretty, yet fairly normal girl. With huge, uh ... eyes, yeah, eyes. She was actually very pleasant and sweet and not at all like some Hollywood starlets. She was probably one of the top ten nicest customers I ever assisted. She wasn't even wearing makeup, and she was still quite attractive.

Her boobs were nice, too.

Celebrity Sightings - Shannyn Sossamon

This is probably another "Who?" segment of celebrity sightings, but Shannyn Sossamon's been in movies, really. You might remember her as the "foxy lady" that Heath Ledger was trying to get with in "A Knight's Tale." No? Or how about the girl that Josh Hartnett was trying to get with in "40 Days and 40 Nights?" Still doesn't ring a bell? Well how about the the pink haired girl in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?" If you still can't put a face to the name, I'll always remember her as the National Panasonic girl. When I used to watch J-dramas on Fujisankei, they always ran this ad with a girl dancing around her rice cooker, and at the very end she would say, "National Panasonic, you're the one for me." Scintillating, I know.

So where did I see her? At the market, while we were picking up a cake. She dashed in to get something and dashed out. Because, you know, she didn't want to get mobbed. Because she's so famous. Or maybe because her kid was in the car. I think his name is Audio Science Clayton. Boy must that kid get picked on at school.

Celebrity Sightings - Johnny Knoxville

When I worked for Company B, I used to a decent amount of traveling to conventions. On one of my trips back home, while I was waiting at the LAX's baggage claim, I saw a guy over-sized sunglasses, jeans, and a red T-shirt with a huge freakin' star belt buckle. After staring at him for a while and trying to place him, I figured out he must have been Johnny Knoxville of "Jackass" fame.

I don't particularly dislike him—in fact I kind of like the guy and admire him for being able to go out there and do some incredibly stupid things—but he looked like kind of a douche. It could have just been a case of trying to fit the bill, but to paraphrase one famous comedienne "a man's belt buckle should never be bigger than his head." But if anyone can really pull of the douchebag look, it's Johnny Knoxville. Bravo, my hat's off to you, good sir.

Celebrity Sightings - Ashley Jensen

Probably almost all of you are wondering who Ashley Jensen is. For "Ugly Betty" fans, you probably know her as Christina McKinney. But for "Extras" fans, she's the incredibly dense Maggie Jacobs.

I was shopping at the Hollywood Target, when I heard a distinct Scottish accent. It just so happened that I had watched "Extras" a few days earlier, and it sound a lot like Ashley Jensen. I couldn't see who was talking because her back was to me, but her voice is so distinct, that I thought it could be her. So I peeked around the aisle, and it turned out it was her. She was there shopping with her husband. It's too bad, though, since I couldn't really remember her name, so I felt awkward about going up to her and telling her that I enjoyed her work.

I don't like it when people just go up to someone they think is a celebrity and ask for an autograph, so I didn't want to be the douche that didn't know an actress' name. Oh well, missed opportunities.

Celebrity Sightings - Jeffrey Butler

I had to go by Joseph Marcell's character's name from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," since it's doubtful anyone out there would have read the header and gone, "ah, yes, the Joseph Marcell who played Jeffrey Butler."

I happened to see him at Costco once, being very Jeffrey-Butler-like as he shopped for home goods. He wasn't dressed in his butler's uniform, which is perhaps why people weren't rushing him while yelling, "It's Jeffrey Butler!" It was pretty cool to see him though, since he was one of the funnier characters on "The Fresh Prince." I liked the episode where Will tricked him into thinking he won the lottery so he decided to quit only to find out later it was a joke.

Now if only I could meet James Avery from the show, then my life would be nearly fulfilled. Uncle Phil and Shredder at the same time? Sounds like a match made in TV heaven.

Celebrity Sightings - Tony Shalhoub

It's funny how television distorts things. For instance, many of the actresses I've met in real life tended to be much more petite in real life, whereas the actors are much larger. Take Tony Shalhoub, who's been in the television shows "Wings" and "Monk." In both shows, he appears as a small, mousy fellow. But one time he came into Mail Boxes, Etc. and he was around six-feet tall, and big. If he's that big in real life but plays tiny guys on television, that must mean everyone else around him are giants. Amy Yasbeck must be some sort of sasquatch!

Celebrity Sightings - Rob Zombie & Sherry Moon

I've mentioned it before, but whenever a customer's mailbox gets full at Mail Boxes, Etc. we had to contact the customer. Occasionally I would have to call Rob Zombie's house about the mail. It always went to message, and boy did they have a good message. It would start out with spooky music and sound effects in the background, so at first you might be like "WTF," but then Sherry, Rob's wife, would come on along with him and explain they weren't home at the moment. Sherry was usually the one who came to pick up the mail. She's a tall blonde, and very sweet, and very pretty, which wasn't what I would have expected. Rob might have only come in once or twice when I worked there, and he would look pretty normal—not completely normal, but mostly normal.

Celebrity Sightings - Joe Rogan

Since last Friday was Sister C's graduation, I was wondering if there were any celebrities there celebrating with friends or relatives. At one point I saw a dead ringer for Craig T. Nelson complete with shades, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't him. It got me thinking about my own graduation.

When I attended my college graduation, it was back in the day when "Fear Factor" still occupied half of NBC's nightly programming. Lo and behold but who was there at my graduation but the host of "Fear Factor," Joe Rogan. But I prefer to remember him from his "News Radio" days when he wasn't such a douche and a jerk. I guess he was there for a nephew or niece's graduation, since it surely couldn't have been his own kid who could have graduated. He acted like less of a dick cheering on his relative, but he still looked like a dick. I guess in some cases having no celebrity at your graduation is better than having any celebrity.

Top Ten Celebrities Whose Autographs I Would Like and On What

1. Nicolas Cage - "The Wicker Man" or "The Rock" DVD
2. Michael Jordan - basketball card
3. Tom Hanks - "You've Got Mail" DVD
4. Meg Ryan - "You've Got Mail" DVD
5. Alexis Stewart (Martha Stewart's daughter) - anything
6. Bruce Willis - "Die Hard" or "Hudson Hawk" DVD
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger - "Kindergarten Cop" DVD
8. Tony Leung - "Chungking Express" blu-ray
9. Kurt Russell - "Big Trouble in Little China" DVD
10. Laura Linney - "Congo" DVD