Thursday, June 10, 2010

Time Train - Delayed Again

"Time Train" has been derailed yet again. It'll be on indefinite hiatus until my schedule stabilizes.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Celebrity Sightings - Tony Shalhoub

It's funny how television distorts things. For instance, many of the actresses I've met in real life tended to be much more petite in real life, whereas the actors are much larger. Take Tony Shalhoub, who's been in the television shows "Wings" and "Monk." In both shows, he appears as a small, mousy fellow. But one time he came into Mail Boxes, Etc. and he was around six-feet tall, and big. If he's that big in real life but plays tiny guys on television, that must mean everyone else around him are giants. Amy Yasbeck must be some sort of sasquatch!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Rockford vs. Magnum

rockfordmagnum
Since this season of television has come to a close, I've been looking for alternatives to fill the void. Thanks to Netflix, I can stream a slew of television programs into my room, so I recently started watching "The Rockford Files." I figured since the show was a forerunner to "Magnum, P.I.," I would like it. I had watched nearly the entire run of "Magnum, P.I." a few months ago and enjoyed it immensely.

While watching the inaugural season of "The Rockford Files," I noticed some striking similarities and differences with the two shows, and thought it would be fun to share them here.

SIMILARITIES
- Both Jim Rockford and Thomas Magnum are extremely likable characters in spite of their foibles.
-Although both are self employed detectives, neither makes much money from their cases. In Rockford's case, I don't recall if I ever saw him get paid his $200 a day plus expenses.
- Both shows have memorable instrumental theme songs.
- Both characters are strongly identified with iconic cars: Rockford with his Pontiac Firebird Esprit, and Magnum with Robin Masters' Ferrari 308 GTS.
- Both rely heavily on help from their friends, arguably to the point where they wouldn't have been able to break a case if it weren't for help.
- Both have somewhat dark backstories: Rockford with his prison time, and Magnum with the Vietnam War.
- The backdrops for each show, Los Angeles for Rockford and Hawaii for Magnum, are characters themselves.
- Both dislike using guns.

DIFFERENCES
- While Magnum enjoys the digs of Robin's Nest, Rockford lives in a mobile home in a Malibu Beach parking lot.
- Both get involved in cases that involve attractive women, but Rockford is far more successful at closing the deal.
- With his Navy background, Magnum is a slightly more effective fighter than Rockford. Rockford seems to get beat up or knocked out in every episode.
- Rockford gets taken for rides, both literally and figuratively far more than Magnum does.
- Jim Rockford is clean-shaven, while Thomas Magnum sports a manly mustache.

It's also interesting to note how different Rockford is in the movie pilot. The movie is the only time I remember him not getting beat up. In fact, he completely outsmarts the muscle-bound bad guy in the men's room. He also shoots down a single-engine plane with a revolver—a magic revolver that shoots more than six shots without reloading. So clearly they had to nerf him. But with Magnum, they countered his weaknesses with one of the manliest mustaches since Sam Elliot. I think that gives him a one-up on Rockford.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Wrestling: Fact or Fiction

In the vein of "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction," I'm going to present several professional wrestling gimmicks from the WWE. Some will be fact and some will be fiction, and it's your job to figure out which are which. For some of you this will be pretty easy, but for others it will be ridiculous. Post your answers (fact/fiction) in the comments section. Answers will follow next week.
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1. Barber

The Barber would shave the heads of his opponents after defeating them. He hosted a segment called the "Barber Shop" where he would interview fellow wrestlers in a barber shop set in the ring.

2. Astronaut

The Astronaut would walk to the ring in a NASA spacesuit. He was prone to monologuing in overly dramatic fashion about returning to Earth, despite already being here. His finishing move was known as the "Final Countdown."

3. Tax Man

The Tax Man wore glasses, a short-sleeved dress shirt with suspenders and dark dress slacks. His theme song was the sound of typing with a carriage return. His finishing move was called the "Stock Market Crash."

4. Artist

The Artist would come to the ring with various art tools, like brushes and an easel. After defeating his opponents, he would often paint a quick, sloppy portrait of them. He hosted a segment called the "Artist's Corner," where he would interview wrestlers while he painted, often badly.

5. Turkey

For weeks, fans wondered what was in the giant egg that was spotlighted in weekly episodes, when finally it hatched and out a came ... a giant Turkey. The Turkey walked to the ring and danced around ... and was subsequently never heard from again until years later when he showed up in a battle royale.

6. Pirate

The rotund Pirate was French and a descendant of pirates. He came complete with an eye patch over his glass eye. His finishing move was called "Le Cannonball."

7. Mountie

The Mountie wore a typical mountie uniform. Instead of enforcing the general law, he enforced his own as he saw fit. Thus, he wasn't really a good guy. His theme song, which he sang, mentioned that "he always got his man."

8. Retard

The Retard was a thirty-year-old man with the mind of a child. Despite this, they let him wrestle. In the ring, he would imitate the moves of his favorite wrestlers.

9. Clown

The Clown was dressed in colorful garb with bright green hair and a red nose. His entrance music was stereotypical clown music, with slide whistles. His finishing move was called the "Whoopie Cushion."


10. Architect

The Architect originally designed houses for wealthy wrestling heels. He would usually accompany them to the ring like a manager, standing outside the ring while pounding his fist on the mat and pointing at blueprints. He only wrestled a handful of times, and had a finisher called the "Flying Buttress."
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And here's one gimmick I couldn't make up even if I wanted to. Enjoy this classic moment in wrestling: the Shockmaster. You'll have to watch till the end for the payoff.