1. laundromat
2. pit of a volcano
3. Native American burial ground
4. anywhere in 1300s Europe
5. movie theater showing Ishtar on infinite loop
6. the planet after Pluto
7. New Jersey
8. private Yautja hunting reserve
9. Titanic
10. television set of Mr. Belvedere
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Seven In One Acts
PREFACE
I usually get most of my ideas when I'm supposed to be falling asleep. But I have this problem—I like to go to sleep late and sleep long hours. This causes a number of issues with my sleep pattern, and prevents me from falling asleep in a timely manner. Thus I am allowed an inordinate amount of time in which to do nothing but come up with strange ideas. It might also affect the quality of some of my ideas, this being one of them.
___
I like to watch movies, but sometimes I only have an hour or so to spare, in which case I’ll watch an episode of Man vs. Food, Castle, or Ghost Adventures. But sometimes I don’t have enough time for that. So I’ve come up with seven short one acts that detail most of the important plot points and cut straight through the predominantly interesting bullshit to get to the less-than-filling meaty core.
___
UPPER CLASS DINING HELL
FADE IN
EXT. LARGE DINING ROOM - EVENING
The lights, after having momentarily been shut off, have turned back on revealing a dining room filled with astonished guests, including the MAID, the BUTLER, the DETECTIVE, and one dead guest still in his dinner chair.
EVERYONE
Gasp!
The Maid points to the Butler.
MAID
The butler did it!
BUTLER
(loud aside)
Shit.
DETECTIVE
Hold him. Excellent work, maid. Good thing I was spontaneously invited to dinner tonight.
THE END
___
THE ASTROLOGICAL MURDERER
FADE IN
EXT. APARTMENT STREET - LATE AFTERNOON
A DETECTIVE and POLICE OFFICER stand over a murder victim obscured from view by a white sheet. PSYCHO KILLER hides in the bushes.
DETECTIVE
This is one hell of a gruesome murder. I don’t know how we’re going to solve this.
Psycho Killer jumps out from the bushes.
PSYCHO KILLER
I did it!
DETECTIVE
Grab him!
Police Officer grabs Psycho Killer, who struggles very little.
PSYCHO KILLER
And do you want to know why I did it?
DETECTIVE
Save it for the judge.
PSYCHO KILLER
Fine. Suit yourself.
THE END
___
SIT DOWN AND RECEIVE
FADE IN
INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
A TEACHER stands in front of a STUDENT seated at his desk.
TEACHER
Don’t you see you’re throwing your life away? You can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind to it. I’m just here to inspire you. Do you hear me? Inspire you!
STUDENT
When you put it that way, I feel pretty inspired.
TEACHER
Really? Good work, you get an A+ for the year.
STUDENT
Alright!
Teacher and Student high five.
THE END
___
BLACK NINJA VS. WHITE NINJA 1
FADE IN
INT. EMPTY WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
An unarmed BLACK NINJA and an unarmed WHITE NINJA stand face to face in a large empty warehouse.
BLACK NINJA
I am the master! You cannot defeat me!
WHITE NINJA
Yes, I can!
White Ninja jump kicks Black Ninja, who fails to dodge. Black Ninja goes down.
BLACK NINJA
Shit! You were right… Argh!
Black Ninja dies.
THE END
___
LAWYERS DO LUNCH
FADE IN
INT. CROWDED RESTAURANT – DAY
YUPPIE LAWYER #1 and YUPPIE LAWYER #2 are having lunch in a posh restaurant. Yuppie Lawyer #1 finishes chewing a bite of his sandwich.
YUPPIE LAWYER #1
I’ve lost all respect for myself.
YUPPIE LAWYER #2
Cheer up. At least we don’t have any debilitating diseases.
YUPPIE LAWYER #1
You’re right! Gee, my respect is back. Thank you, Yuppie Lawyer #2.
Both continue eating their lunches.
THE END
___
SCI-FI BATTLE EPIC: REVENGE OF THE EMPIRE'S LAST HOPE
FADE IN
INT. IMPERIAL BASE CORRIDOR – NIGHT?
REBEL SPACE PIRATE and his REBEL SIDEKICK run through the empty halls of the Imperial High Command Space Station.
REBEL SPACE PIRATE
Wait a minute. Doesn’t this situation with the Imperial High Command kind of remind you of the decline of the Roman Empire?
REBEL SIDEKICK
Now that you think of it, you’re right. It’s like we’re living an allegory.
REBEL SPACE PIRATE
(laughing)
My naïve cohort. It’s only an allegory if it’s a figurative treatment as opposed to the real event in our case. We’re reliving history, and we all know how that turned out.
Both stop running and laugh.
THE END
___
INVASION OF THE THINGS THAT AREN'T HUMANS BUT STAND FOR OTHER HUMANS
FADE IN
INT. CELLAR – NIGHT
SURVIVOR #1, SURVIVOR #2, and several other survivors are holed up in a cellar, while the sounds of evil alien zombie monsters lurk above.
SURVIVOR #1
I know we’re fighting against evil alien zombie monsters, but I just can’t help but feel that they’re just stand-ins for something else, and that the real monster we’re fighting is the one inside us.
SURVIVOR #2
That sounds like traitor talk. You must be one of them. (gestures at other survivors) You, seize him!
The other survivors grab Survivor #1 and haul him away.
SURVIVOR #1
Don’t give in to the paranoia…
THE END
I usually get most of my ideas when I'm supposed to be falling asleep. But I have this problem—I like to go to sleep late and sleep long hours. This causes a number of issues with my sleep pattern, and prevents me from falling asleep in a timely manner. Thus I am allowed an inordinate amount of time in which to do nothing but come up with strange ideas. It might also affect the quality of some of my ideas, this being one of them.
___
I like to watch movies, but sometimes I only have an hour or so to spare, in which case I’ll watch an episode of Man vs. Food, Castle, or Ghost Adventures. But sometimes I don’t have enough time for that. So I’ve come up with seven short one acts that detail most of the important plot points and cut straight through the predominantly interesting bullshit to get to the less-than-filling meaty core.
___
UPPER CLASS DINING HELL
FADE IN
EXT. LARGE DINING ROOM - EVENING
The lights, after having momentarily been shut off, have turned back on revealing a dining room filled with astonished guests, including the MAID, the BUTLER, the DETECTIVE, and one dead guest still in his dinner chair.
EVERYONE
Gasp!
The Maid points to the Butler.
MAID
The butler did it!
BUTLER
(loud aside)
Shit.
DETECTIVE
Hold him. Excellent work, maid. Good thing I was spontaneously invited to dinner tonight.
THE END
___
THE ASTROLOGICAL MURDERER
FADE IN
EXT. APARTMENT STREET - LATE AFTERNOON
A DETECTIVE and POLICE OFFICER stand over a murder victim obscured from view by a white sheet. PSYCHO KILLER hides in the bushes.
DETECTIVE
This is one hell of a gruesome murder. I don’t know how we’re going to solve this.
Psycho Killer jumps out from the bushes.
PSYCHO KILLER
I did it!
DETECTIVE
Grab him!
Police Officer grabs Psycho Killer, who struggles very little.
PSYCHO KILLER
And do you want to know why I did it?
DETECTIVE
Save it for the judge.
PSYCHO KILLER
Fine. Suit yourself.
THE END
___
SIT DOWN AND RECEIVE
FADE IN
INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
A TEACHER stands in front of a STUDENT seated at his desk.
TEACHER
Don’t you see you’re throwing your life away? You can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind to it. I’m just here to inspire you. Do you hear me? Inspire you!
STUDENT
When you put it that way, I feel pretty inspired.
TEACHER
Really? Good work, you get an A+ for the year.
STUDENT
Alright!
Teacher and Student high five.
THE END
___
BLACK NINJA VS. WHITE NINJA 1
FADE IN
INT. EMPTY WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
An unarmed BLACK NINJA and an unarmed WHITE NINJA stand face to face in a large empty warehouse.
BLACK NINJA
I am the master! You cannot defeat me!
WHITE NINJA
Yes, I can!
White Ninja jump kicks Black Ninja, who fails to dodge. Black Ninja goes down.
BLACK NINJA
Shit! You were right… Argh!
Black Ninja dies.
THE END
___
LAWYERS DO LUNCH
FADE IN
INT. CROWDED RESTAURANT – DAY
YUPPIE LAWYER #1 and YUPPIE LAWYER #2 are having lunch in a posh restaurant. Yuppie Lawyer #1 finishes chewing a bite of his sandwich.
YUPPIE LAWYER #1
I’ve lost all respect for myself.
YUPPIE LAWYER #2
Cheer up. At least we don’t have any debilitating diseases.
YUPPIE LAWYER #1
You’re right! Gee, my respect is back. Thank you, Yuppie Lawyer #2.
Both continue eating their lunches.
THE END
___
SCI-FI BATTLE EPIC: REVENGE OF THE EMPIRE'S LAST HOPE
FADE IN
INT. IMPERIAL BASE CORRIDOR – NIGHT?
REBEL SPACE PIRATE and his REBEL SIDEKICK run through the empty halls of the Imperial High Command Space Station.
REBEL SPACE PIRATE
Wait a minute. Doesn’t this situation with the Imperial High Command kind of remind you of the decline of the Roman Empire?
REBEL SIDEKICK
Now that you think of it, you’re right. It’s like we’re living an allegory.
REBEL SPACE PIRATE
(laughing)
My naïve cohort. It’s only an allegory if it’s a figurative treatment as opposed to the real event in our case. We’re reliving history, and we all know how that turned out.
Both stop running and laugh.
THE END
___
INVASION OF THE THINGS THAT AREN'T HUMANS BUT STAND FOR OTHER HUMANS
FADE IN
INT. CELLAR – NIGHT
SURVIVOR #1, SURVIVOR #2, and several other survivors are holed up in a cellar, while the sounds of evil alien zombie monsters lurk above.
SURVIVOR #1
I know we’re fighting against evil alien zombie monsters, but I just can’t help but feel that they’re just stand-ins for something else, and that the real monster we’re fighting is the one inside us.
SURVIVOR #2
That sounds like traitor talk. You must be one of them. (gestures at other survivors) You, seize him!
The other survivors grab Survivor #1 and haul him away.
SURVIVOR #1
Don’t give in to the paranoia…
THE END
Friday, March 19, 2010
Men’s People’s Lib
The number and magnitude of celebrity affairs in the news lately has been appalling. But while what these men did is despicable, I find another trend equally disgusting: the trend of celebrity status being conferred on the co-cheaters involved. I find it a double standard that the cheating male receives a great deal of negative public castigation, whereas the other women, who clearly knew the marital and familial status of the men they were cheating with, have been relatively unscathed and in some cases, even elevated in their careers. But what is to blame for this clear issue of double standards? Is it society? The media? Perhaps, but I’d like to suggest another culprit: Women’s Lib.
The Women’s Movement has been ongoing for decades, and not unjustifiably so. Women deserve to be on a more equal footing with men. But there are some allowances, like that mentioned above, that have gone too far, as the very notion of gender and gender roles have been warped due to the ongoing Women’s Lib Movement.
Women have seen their numbers in the workforce increase, as they focus on their careers rather than families. As a result, more and more men are being forced to take on additional duties, such as doing housework and preparing food for their families. These are not things that men do well, or at all. Not that women do them better necessarily either. But if women are working, who is going to bear the children? Unfortunately nature did not provide men with the biological apparatus to give birth. A lot of men have the child-bearing hips, and probably wouldn’t mind the weight gain. Some guys already have that going on. And if they could bear children, then where would we be on pro-choice? But that is a separate issue with its own can of worms.
The point of this argument is that Women’s Lib has put a dent in man’s (as in the sex, not the species, since we’re people and not all men) masculinity so to speak. It can sometimes be depressing to men that they are looked at as little more than sperm delivery systems, or in other cases as tall, really muscular not-women. Nowadays a woman can even be offended if a man volunteers to open a door (which he should do, as long as she wants him to). But if he doesn’t make a move to open the door, she might also get mad.
Basically, men are confused, and don’t understand what women want them to do. It was much easier when men did what they knew how to and what they wanted to do. Now there’s a lot more thinking involved and sometimes logic doesn’t even play a role (in the situation, not in any person’s thinking). Maybe women just want to be mad at men, which they’re allowed to be, I suppose, as long as there is no violence. But men are mad, too—not necessarily at women—but at the world, and society.
This is not merely a case of equality of the sexes—no, this is a reversal of gender roles. Where once men were seen as the oppressors, women are slowly moving into that role. So, if it doesn’t entirely upset women, I propose a counter movement to the Women’s Lib Movement: the Men’s Lib Movement. So, my brothers (or sisters, all things wanting to be equal), let us remove our undergarments be they boxers, or briefs, or boxer-briefs (or panties, hosiery, bras, corsets, thongs), and set them ablaze. It is our time to shine. For I am man (or woman), hear me roar, in numbers too large to ignore.
The Women’s Movement has been ongoing for decades, and not unjustifiably so. Women deserve to be on a more equal footing with men. But there are some allowances, like that mentioned above, that have gone too far, as the very notion of gender and gender roles have been warped due to the ongoing Women’s Lib Movement.
Women have seen their numbers in the workforce increase, as they focus on their careers rather than families. As a result, more and more men are being forced to take on additional duties, such as doing housework and preparing food for their families. These are not things that men do well, or at all. Not that women do them better necessarily either. But if women are working, who is going to bear the children? Unfortunately nature did not provide men with the biological apparatus to give birth. A lot of men have the child-bearing hips, and probably wouldn’t mind the weight gain. Some guys already have that going on. And if they could bear children, then where would we be on pro-choice? But that is a separate issue with its own can of worms.
The point of this argument is that Women’s Lib has put a dent in man’s (as in the sex, not the species, since we’re people and not all men) masculinity so to speak. It can sometimes be depressing to men that they are looked at as little more than sperm delivery systems, or in other cases as tall, really muscular not-women. Nowadays a woman can even be offended if a man volunteers to open a door (which he should do, as long as she wants him to). But if he doesn’t make a move to open the door, she might also get mad.
Basically, men are confused, and don’t understand what women want them to do. It was much easier when men did what they knew how to and what they wanted to do. Now there’s a lot more thinking involved and sometimes logic doesn’t even play a role (in the situation, not in any person’s thinking). Maybe women just want to be mad at men, which they’re allowed to be, I suppose, as long as there is no violence. But men are mad, too—not necessarily at women—but at the world, and society.
This is not merely a case of equality of the sexes—no, this is a reversal of gender roles. Where once men were seen as the oppressors, women are slowly moving into that role. So, if it doesn’t entirely upset women, I propose a counter movement to the Women’s Lib Movement: the Men’s Lib Movement. So, my brothers (or sisters, all things wanting to be equal), let us remove our undergarments be they boxers, or briefs, or boxer-briefs (or panties, hosiery, bras, corsets, thongs), and set them ablaze. It is our time to shine. For I am man (or woman), hear me roar, in numbers too large to ignore.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Time Train - Chapter 9
Rhubarb and Columbus are ready to return home, but perhaps it won't be so easy.
___
It was near noon as Rhubarb T. Porterhut and Columbus approached the station. The biscuits they had purchased from the general store were enough to tide them over for the moment, but they still looked forward to the feast Florentine would have prepared for them once they returned home.
“I believe we should be able to manage the rest of the way,” remarked Rhubarb, addressing Columbus who silently kept pace beside him. Columbus appreciated the extended amount of walking he was allowed knowing that he would most likely be occupying the back sack again once they were back on board the train.
A large bubble of smoke bursting in the near distant sky caught Rhubarb’s attention, and as they neared the station he could make out the time traveling locomotive pulling alongside the station platform. Black smoke was pouring out from the smokestack obscuring most of the rather large machine, and on the platform stood the stationmaster he had talked to earlier, waving his cap at whoever was operating it.
“Hello again,” yelled Rhubarb as soon as he was within earshot. “I see that our transportation is prepared as per our agreement.”
For the first time the stationmaster got a good look at Columbus, who had been in Rhubarb’s back sack they whole time of their conversation. With widened eyes, he absorbed the image of the patchy dog that seemed like such a contradiction to him.
“I thought you two would’ve been back sooner. Robby here’s got yer train all set up. I trust you found something to eat while you were touring our fair town?”
“Yes, we managed some biscuits, but we are quite prepared to return home now.”
Columbus hesitated for a second as he listened to Rhubarb speak. While he looked forward to getting home to his warm, plush bed which negated his lack of fur, he wished he could have a few minutes more before he was forced back into his sack.
“Well then, I guess that would just ‘bout settle things.” The stationmaster’s voice went up at the end, and he just stood there looking at Rhubarb, but not looking, as he tapped his foot to the rhythm of a jig he couldn’t dance to. When Rhubarb just stood and stared in return, the station master coughed.
“Bless you. Was that a cough? Or a sneeze?”
“Uh, neither. You know it was quite a bit of work moving that locomotive. Quite a bit of work.”
Rhubarb finally took the hint, and following a brief shudder he took out his wallet.
“Ah. Right, we agreed upon compensation. How much did we agree upon? Never mind, let me see what I have.”
But when Rhubarb looked in his wallet, he was stunned―for where once was ten one dollar bills, there were none. His mind scrambled for an answer, for some reasoning as to what had happened to the money.
“Now if yer ready to leave, we need to get you on out of here. We’ve got more trains coming in from Springfield pretty soon.”
Columbus, picking up on the gravity of the situation, began to shed with concern.
Rhubarb was frozen and could barely muster up a word, before finally exhaling. “The store owner... I must have… forgotten my change.”
“Now no excuses, son, but do you have the money or not? ‘Cause I will have Robby pull the engine back if you don’t.”
In a flash, Columbus thought about his bed, the warm fireplace, and Florentine serving him beef for dinner. With all the resolve he could stir up, he dropped one last clump of fur and darted off the platform for the train. He yelped at Rhubarb who understood the plan.
“Wait for me, Columbus,” Rhubarb yelled, as he dashed off the platform leaving the stunned stationmaster standing there like a rare hibiscus pine log in a bog.
Columbus leapt onto the engine first, startling the young man operating the controls. It took Rhubarb slightly longer to climb aboard, but once on, he turned to the young man and bowed.
“I detest violence, so would you be so kind as to extricate yourself?”
The man, with no fight and only a little more interest, bowed politely in return, then stiffly turned and hopped off.
“Quickly, Columbus. Unfortunately we must hasten our departure, so prepare yourself.”
Columbus understood what that meant, and reluctantly crawled inside the sack that Rhubarb had tossed onto the cab floor. Meanwhile Rhubarb threw some levers, turned the time knob to “FUTURE,” and released the break. The train slowly lurched forward and began to depart the station.
“That was a close call, was it not? Good work, Columbus. Tonight I shall reward you with the bigger steak.”
He picked up the sack overflowing with the smiling Columbus, and slung it over his shoulder. After shoveling in some more coal, Rhubarb leaned against the cab wall and started to relax. He could see the stationmaster very gradually getting smaller as he stared back at them, unmoved, from the platform. Rhubarb hated leaving things the way he did, but time waited for no man except him, except when they weren’t actually in the time traversing device. As such it was imperative to get into the machine where time was once more subject to their will. At least that was what Rhubarb thought to himself, as he looked forward to getting home and telling Florentine of their narrow escape over dinner.
___
It was near noon as Rhubarb T. Porterhut and Columbus approached the station. The biscuits they had purchased from the general store were enough to tide them over for the moment, but they still looked forward to the feast Florentine would have prepared for them once they returned home.
“I believe we should be able to manage the rest of the way,” remarked Rhubarb, addressing Columbus who silently kept pace beside him. Columbus appreciated the extended amount of walking he was allowed knowing that he would most likely be occupying the back sack again once they were back on board the train.
A large bubble of smoke bursting in the near distant sky caught Rhubarb’s attention, and as they neared the station he could make out the time traveling locomotive pulling alongside the station platform. Black smoke was pouring out from the smokestack obscuring most of the rather large machine, and on the platform stood the stationmaster he had talked to earlier, waving his cap at whoever was operating it.
“Hello again,” yelled Rhubarb as soon as he was within earshot. “I see that our transportation is prepared as per our agreement.”
For the first time the stationmaster got a good look at Columbus, who had been in Rhubarb’s back sack they whole time of their conversation. With widened eyes, he absorbed the image of the patchy dog that seemed like such a contradiction to him.
“I thought you two would’ve been back sooner. Robby here’s got yer train all set up. I trust you found something to eat while you were touring our fair town?”
“Yes, we managed some biscuits, but we are quite prepared to return home now.”
Columbus hesitated for a second as he listened to Rhubarb speak. While he looked forward to getting home to his warm, plush bed which negated his lack of fur, he wished he could have a few minutes more before he was forced back into his sack.
“Well then, I guess that would just ‘bout settle things.” The stationmaster’s voice went up at the end, and he just stood there looking at Rhubarb, but not looking, as he tapped his foot to the rhythm of a jig he couldn’t dance to. When Rhubarb just stood and stared in return, the station master coughed.
“Bless you. Was that a cough? Or a sneeze?”
“Uh, neither. You know it was quite a bit of work moving that locomotive. Quite a bit of work.”
Rhubarb finally took the hint, and following a brief shudder he took out his wallet.
“Ah. Right, we agreed upon compensation. How much did we agree upon? Never mind, let me see what I have.”
But when Rhubarb looked in his wallet, he was stunned―for where once was ten one dollar bills, there were none. His mind scrambled for an answer, for some reasoning as to what had happened to the money.
“Now if yer ready to leave, we need to get you on out of here. We’ve got more trains coming in from Springfield pretty soon.”
Columbus, picking up on the gravity of the situation, began to shed with concern.
Rhubarb was frozen and could barely muster up a word, before finally exhaling. “The store owner... I must have… forgotten my change.”
“Now no excuses, son, but do you have the money or not? ‘Cause I will have Robby pull the engine back if you don’t.”
In a flash, Columbus thought about his bed, the warm fireplace, and Florentine serving him beef for dinner. With all the resolve he could stir up, he dropped one last clump of fur and darted off the platform for the train. He yelped at Rhubarb who understood the plan.
“Wait for me, Columbus,” Rhubarb yelled, as he dashed off the platform leaving the stunned stationmaster standing there like a rare hibiscus pine log in a bog.
Columbus leapt onto the engine first, startling the young man operating the controls. It took Rhubarb slightly longer to climb aboard, but once on, he turned to the young man and bowed.
“I detest violence, so would you be so kind as to extricate yourself?”
The man, with no fight and only a little more interest, bowed politely in return, then stiffly turned and hopped off.
“Quickly, Columbus. Unfortunately we must hasten our departure, so prepare yourself.”
Columbus understood what that meant, and reluctantly crawled inside the sack that Rhubarb had tossed onto the cab floor. Meanwhile Rhubarb threw some levers, turned the time knob to “FUTURE,” and released the break. The train slowly lurched forward and began to depart the station.
“That was a close call, was it not? Good work, Columbus. Tonight I shall reward you with the bigger steak.”
He picked up the sack overflowing with the smiling Columbus, and slung it over his shoulder. After shoveling in some more coal, Rhubarb leaned against the cab wall and started to relax. He could see the stationmaster very gradually getting smaller as he stared back at them, unmoved, from the platform. Rhubarb hated leaving things the way he did, but time waited for no man except him, except when they weren’t actually in the time traversing device. As such it was imperative to get into the machine where time was once more subject to their will. At least that was what Rhubarb thought to himself, as he looked forward to getting home and telling Florentine of their narrow escape over dinner.
Paper Airplane Philosophy
Like many children, I was fascinated with flight when I was younger. At one time I wished to be a fighter pilot, but my dreams never went further than that. Instead, I was content to be an armchair pilot, playing flight simulators and making paper airplanes. However I was never particularly adept at making good paper airplanes, nor that serious about it. That is until recently.
One lazy Sunday, I decided to try out some tried and true paper airplane designs from The Dangerous Book For Boys. After observing certain flight characteristics because of the unique designs, I felt like experimenting with some designs of my own.
In the course of that first week, I probably folded about a hundred paper airplanes, and in the weeks after, several hundred more, as I made adjustments to certain designs, little by little, until I was able to derive the desired looks and flight characteristics. I managed three successful designs with an additional three prototypes that are works in progress. My favorite of the ones I created is pictured below.
As I learned more about paper airplanes and flight in general, I learned how to make better paper airplanes. I never had much luck with the classic dart, but since then I have made several satisfactory darts including one that sustained severe damage to the wing (general warping via dog slobber), stabilizer (dog bite), and nose (repeated crashes, mouth catches). Despite all the impediments, it still flies remarkably straight with an elegant flight pattern, which is a testament to both the design and build quality.
As I dabbled in paper airplane design, I developed my own philosophy. I subscribe to a version of the paper airplane philosophy known as aerogami. Aerogami is a branch of origami (Japanese for "folding paper") whose objective focuses on flying paper craft. My version is a subset which is more austere, as it disallows weights, cuts, or adhesives of any type, except for display purposes only. I build primarily gliders, striving for maximum wingspan, nice clean lines, and dramatic angles, so the plane will look as good on display as in flight. One of my favorite innovations is folding back the front part of the wing onto itself, creating a prominent airfoil. I also like to add a mid-wing crease that billows out the wings to create the pocket for the airfoil while also creating a profile similar to a hang glider. Currently I am studying the employment of canards and a possible forward swept wing design.
I find the act of folding paper airplanes therapeutic. My paper airplanes may not be the longest or furthest flying, but they do have a gentle, stable descent, and I believe their designs are unique and pleasant to look at. In life there are few simple joys as worthwhile as making a paper airplane and watching it catch the wind to stay aloft a few feet more.
One lazy Sunday, I decided to try out some tried and true paper airplane designs from The Dangerous Book For Boys. After observing certain flight characteristics because of the unique designs, I felt like experimenting with some designs of my own.
In the course of that first week, I probably folded about a hundred paper airplanes, and in the weeks after, several hundred more, as I made adjustments to certain designs, little by little, until I was able to derive the desired looks and flight characteristics. I managed three successful designs with an additional three prototypes that are works in progress. My favorite of the ones I created is pictured below.
As I learned more about paper airplanes and flight in general, I learned how to make better paper airplanes. I never had much luck with the classic dart, but since then I have made several satisfactory darts including one that sustained severe damage to the wing (general warping via dog slobber), stabilizer (dog bite), and nose (repeated crashes, mouth catches). Despite all the impediments, it still flies remarkably straight with an elegant flight pattern, which is a testament to both the design and build quality.
As I dabbled in paper airplane design, I developed my own philosophy. I subscribe to a version of the paper airplane philosophy known as aerogami. Aerogami is a branch of origami (Japanese for "folding paper") whose objective focuses on flying paper craft. My version is a subset which is more austere, as it disallows weights, cuts, or adhesives of any type, except for display purposes only. I build primarily gliders, striving for maximum wingspan, nice clean lines, and dramatic angles, so the plane will look as good on display as in flight. One of my favorite innovations is folding back the front part of the wing onto itself, creating a prominent airfoil. I also like to add a mid-wing crease that billows out the wings to create the pocket for the airfoil while also creating a profile similar to a hang glider. Currently I am studying the employment of canards and a possible forward swept wing design.
I find the act of folding paper airplanes therapeutic. My paper airplanes may not be the longest or furthest flying, but they do have a gentle, stable descent, and I believe their designs are unique and pleasant to look at. In life there are few simple joys as worthwhile as making a paper airplane and watching it catch the wind to stay aloft a few feet more.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Celebrity Sightings - Elisabeth Shue
Several years ago, I took up tennis very briefly--like less than a month. I'm really much more of a basketball person, so my heart wasn't in it. However being around the tennis courts resulted in a surprising celebrity sighting: Elisabeth Shue.
I'm not sure if any of my friends noticed, since they were actually playing tennis, but Ms. Shue and her tennis partner showed up to get some time on the courts. There was only one problem though: they were all occupied. Ms. Shue was pissed, but I don't know what she expected. It was a public park and there were only 2 or 3 courts there. She pretty much threw a hissy fit, dropping several F-bombs, not necessarily towards anyone specific, but the act was very unbecoming of a lady. She was also a bit frumpy looking in her tennis dress. That was mostly because she's kind of short, and also because her boobal area was rather prominent, or at least it seemed such in her dress.
I wasn't particularly excited to see her, since I've only seen about three of her movies. But after her tantrum, I was excited to see her go.
I'm not sure if any of my friends noticed, since they were actually playing tennis, but Ms. Shue and her tennis partner showed up to get some time on the courts. There was only one problem though: they were all occupied. Ms. Shue was pissed, but I don't know what she expected. It was a public park and there were only 2 or 3 courts there. She pretty much threw a hissy fit, dropping several F-bombs, not necessarily towards anyone specific, but the act was very unbecoming of a lady. She was also a bit frumpy looking in her tennis dress. That was mostly because she's kind of short, and also because her boobal area was rather prominent, or at least it seemed such in her dress.
I wasn't particularly excited to see her, since I've only seen about three of her movies. But after her tantrum, I was excited to see her go.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Yokai of the Week - Nekomata
When a cat reaches an advanced age, it can become a bakeneko ("monster cat"). If a bakeneko's tail splits in two, it becomes a nekomata with more supernatural abilities. With its newfound powers, a nekomata can reanimate the dead and manipulate them like puppets. Nekomata can sometimes stand on their hind legs as well as dance. As a precaution, some families cut the tails off of their cats resulting in some breeds of Asian cats with shortened or non-existent tails.
Corned Beef Burgers
I was off the hook for cooking last night, as we happened to have corned beef and cabbage for dinner. It used to be that we would use the leftovers to make corned beef dipped sandwiches, but seeing as how I had to cook tonight, I had other plans in store. One of my favorite things to do with leftover corned beef is to make corned beef burgers. Credit for the idea goes to a wonderful food blog called Ideas in Food. The recipe is so simple it's ingenious.
The original recipe involves mixing equal parts lean ground beef (I used 90/10 ground sirloin) and chopped corned beef, adding cold grated butter, and throwing in a pinch of salt and cayenne pepper. The mixture is then formed into patties which are pan-fried and served on English muffins grilled in the drippings. There isn't an exact recipe, but I will provide a more detailed account at the bottom of this post.
For my version, I topped one patty with a slice of Havarti cheese and added some French's yellow mustard beneath the patty. Havarti might be a tad bit salty, in which case I think Swiss, Monterey Jack, or even Provolone could make a better compliment. I served this one on an English muffin as per the standard recipe.
But I also felt the need to experiment further, so I made a rice burger variant. The idea for the rice burger comes from MOS Burger. MOS Burger is a Japanese fast food hamburger chain with additional stores located throughout Southeast Asia. If you have never been to a MOS Burger, your life is incomplete. MOS Burger is my favorite fast food burger chain in the entire world. I could go on, but that is for another post. MOS Burger introduced the first rice burger in 1987, and it featured a Japanese-style meatball patty on a bun made of grilled rice, barley, and millet. For my bun, I used Japanese rice leftover from the previous night, formed into flat, burger sized discs. These I grilled on the stove and brushed with soy sauce, similar to yaki-onigiri (grilled rice balls). I put the corned beef patty between the discs, and voila! The corned beef rice burger was born.
Both burgers were very good, although I would like to explore the rice burger concept more. Mom suggested topping the rice burger with kimchee, and I was thinking of doing something with grated daikon or a ginger dressing. Whatever I do, it will show up right here on my blog, so stay tuned.
On the side I made more shoestring fries which is fast becoming a go-to side for my burgers.
Corned Beef Burgers
Burger Patties
1/2 lb lean ground beef
1/2 lb cooked corned beef, trimmed of fat and chopped fine
1/8 stick cold butter, grated
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
Buns
6 English muffins, split into halves
drippings reserved from burger patties
Combine ingredients for the burger patties into a bowl and mix thoroughly with hands. Once mixed, take a handful of the mixture and form into burger patty no larger than the diameter of the English muffin. Grill in pan over a medium flame about 4-5 minutes on both sides. Remove from pan. Add English muffins to pan, cut side down, and grill until brown. Serve corned beef patties on the grilled English muffins.
Serves 6
The original recipe involves mixing equal parts lean ground beef (I used 90/10 ground sirloin) and chopped corned beef, adding cold grated butter, and throwing in a pinch of salt and cayenne pepper. The mixture is then formed into patties which are pan-fried and served on English muffins grilled in the drippings. There isn't an exact recipe, but I will provide a more detailed account at the bottom of this post.
For my version, I topped one patty with a slice of Havarti cheese and added some French's yellow mustard beneath the patty. Havarti might be a tad bit salty, in which case I think Swiss, Monterey Jack, or even Provolone could make a better compliment. I served this one on an English muffin as per the standard recipe.
But I also felt the need to experiment further, so I made a rice burger variant. The idea for the rice burger comes from MOS Burger. MOS Burger is a Japanese fast food hamburger chain with additional stores located throughout Southeast Asia. If you have never been to a MOS Burger, your life is incomplete. MOS Burger is my favorite fast food burger chain in the entire world. I could go on, but that is for another post. MOS Burger introduced the first rice burger in 1987, and it featured a Japanese-style meatball patty on a bun made of grilled rice, barley, and millet. For my bun, I used Japanese rice leftover from the previous night, formed into flat, burger sized discs. These I grilled on the stove and brushed with soy sauce, similar to yaki-onigiri (grilled rice balls). I put the corned beef patty between the discs, and voila! The corned beef rice burger was born.
Both burgers were very good, although I would like to explore the rice burger concept more. Mom suggested topping the rice burger with kimchee, and I was thinking of doing something with grated daikon or a ginger dressing. Whatever I do, it will show up right here on my blog, so stay tuned.
On the side I made more shoestring fries which is fast becoming a go-to side for my burgers.
Corned Beef Burgers
Burger Patties
1/2 lb lean ground beef
1/2 lb cooked corned beef, trimmed of fat and chopped fine
1/8 stick cold butter, grated
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne pepper
Buns
6 English muffins, split into halves
drippings reserved from burger patties
Combine ingredients for the burger patties into a bowl and mix thoroughly with hands. Once mixed, take a handful of the mixture and form into burger patty no larger than the diameter of the English muffin. Grill in pan over a medium flame about 4-5 minutes on both sides. Remove from pan. Add English muffins to pan, cut side down, and grill until brown. Serve corned beef patties on the grilled English muffins.
Serves 6
Monday, March 15, 2010
Why We Will Never Have Flying Cars
In the year 2000, IBM introduced a commercial in which their spokesman, Avery Brooks, initially lamented the lack of flying cars in said year. Perhaps 2000 was a bit premature to expect such technological innovations, but 2010 is here and we still do not have flying cars, even though popular media has long touted flying cars as the wave of the future.
The Jetsons, produced in 1962-63, was set a hundred years forward in the year 2062, where people lived in encapsulated skyrises and flew to work in their bubble-domed cars. 1982's Blade Runner, set in 2019, depicted a dark, grungy world, but at at least they had flying cars. Back to the Future Part II, released in 1989, represented the fictional Hill Valley in the years 1955, 1985, and 2015, the last of which revealed a world where not a whole lot has changed, except that movies (Jaws) are theatrically released in 3-D, hoverboards have supplanted skateboards, big screen TVs with multiple channels are the norm, and cars traverse the air along skyways. At least the 3-D film thing and ubiquity of big, flat screen TVs are starting to catch on, ahead of their time. And lastly, 1997's Fifth Element set 253 years in our future combined many of the aforementioned elements, foremost of which was the heavily populated air traffic ways filled with flying cars.
So might we be able to expect flying cars in the next twenty years? Fifty years? Ever? I highly doubt it. There are a number of reasons why flying cars are a less likely possibility than, say, the discovery of the abominable snowman. One must consider a number of issues, such as technology, fuel sources, fuel efficiency, traffic, safety, and infrastructure.
TECHNOLOGY
Currently there are technological limitations to powered flight. Two components are necessary for flight: lift and thrust. In airplanes and helicopters, lift is gained through lighter build materials and aerodynamics, i.e. wing shape and wing structure. A flying car, being fundamentally different than either of those, would most likely go without using a wing, which only entails more obstacles. Jet propulsion is another option, which aside from producing lift, could also be utilized for thrust. However such implementation would be bulky and clumsy at best, not to mention structurally taxing and fuel prohibitive. Smaller, more manageable jet engines might be around corner, and would be a better fit for a flying car, but there are still the fuel considerations.
FUEL SOURCES
While oil companies rake in the profits from worldwide dependence on decreasing oil reservoirs, the automotive industry is struggling to come up with alternative energy sources, and that would have a large impact on the fuel supply for flying cars. Thus far completely electric vehicles have failed to catch on, with hybrid vehicles offering a compromise that many have jumped on. But eventually the world's needs will fully deplete the available stock of oil, possibly as soon as in another 40 years at the current rate of consumption, and at that point the presently implemented hybrid technology (electricity/petroleum-based fuel) will be obsolete.
Solar energy is another possibility that has been considered and dropped, for being insufficient and too weather dependent.
Biodiesel is another seldom utilized energy source for the automotive industry. While only slightly less efficient than petroleum-based fuel, its production has an antagonistic effect on farming and food costs. Producing biofuel crops, while possibly more lucrative than food crops, would cause the adverse effect of rising food prices, putting pressure on certain nations. As such, it is not a fuel source the world can fully latch onto as of right now.
One last alternative, hydrogen fuel, is a largely untapped market, but highly speculative. Bear in mind that while hydrogen is the most abundant element in our solar system, producing pure hydrogen gas is quite costly and in turn requires substantial energy to do so. Furthermore neither the technical nor the economic infrastructure exists to support it in large scale at this time.
However one added benefit of all of these alternate energy sources is that they have less of an environmental impact, reducing emissions and greenhouse gases. But more than likely the automotive industry will move forward with hybrid energy research, possibly using combinations of these energy sources in order to deliver on promises of new, less polluting fuels.
ENERGY EFFICIENCY
Another consideration related to energy is the amount needed to power a flying car. The internal combustion engine is only responsible for powering a car to move in a single direction at one time. A flying car would have to produce constant lift in order to stay in the air while also occasionally producing thrust with which to move forward. This would require an enormous amount of energy. The 2010 Ford Explorer which seats up to 7 occupants weighs around 4,500 lb and has a fuel efficiency of about 14 miles per gallon. Compare this to a Lear Jet 35, which seats up to 7 and weighs about 17,000 lb, with a fuel efficiency of about 4 miles per gallon. A Bell 206 Jet Ranger Helicopter which can seat up to 5 weighs approximately 3,200 lb (max payload) and has an estimated fuel efficiency of 0.8 miles per gallon. Therefore fueling a flying car would be incredibly expensive.
TRAFFIC CONGESTION
Living in Los Angeles, there is never a shortage of traffic on the streets and freeways. Flying cars would alleviate this congestion, right? Already seeing as how flying cars would require plenty of fuel, in addition to the cost of the technology involved, only the vastly rich would likely be able to afford and maintain one. That would result in only a limited number of cars leaving the terrestrial roads. And the added air traffic would only serve to impinge on current air traffic. It would be similar to adding a few more carpool lanes, which would free up the commute for some but really wouldn't fix the issues at hand.
TRAFFIC LAWS
Having flying cars would necessitate new traffic laws, most of which would be a law enforcement nightmare. If the flying car is of the type that can convert from road to air, there would need to be laws on when and where cars would be allowed to do that. However as anyone can see while driving down the 5 in rush hour, people aren't even willing to observe the carpool lane rules, leaving and entering willy nilly. If that's the case, then how do you expect people to control themselves if their car can simply rise up and over bumper to bumper traffic?
INTERNAL REGULATION
If people can't regulate themselves, then someone else has to do it for them. Flying cars could be outfitted with various regulators and safety devices, such as flight zone restrictors and regulators that would prevent them from converting to flight mode in a non-take-off zone. But such devices in automobiles have always been removable or easy to bypass, illegally of course. Most cars are speed regulated to prevent them from going over a maximum speed, even though their speedometer might say otherwise. But reprogramming the PCM can bypass or alter the top speed limit as well as adjust other preprogrammed functions. All it would take is one irresponsible person to remove the limitations to their flying car to wreak havoc across the skies. Security measures with airplanes and airports in mind, like a No-Fly-Zone regulator or altitude restrictor, would be necessary to ensure that some careless person didn't accidentally fly into a heavily trafficked airspace. Buildings also have to be kept under consideration, after all that was witnessed on 9/11.
TRAFFIC INFRASTRUCTURE
Safety is the number one issue with regards to flying cars. With Toyota's recent troubles, it's clear that minor oversights (or cover ups) can create big safety gaffs. And with flying cars, the number of things that could go wrong increases exponentially. If a flying car were to collide with another car, how could a car company ensure the safety of the occupants within? How about the people on the ground? Especially if a flying car were to fail in mid-air, since where else would it have to go but down? The number of flight craft in the sky is limited, reducing the possibility of such accidents, and there are enough qualified people to both pilot those vehicles as well as monitor their progress. Even if drivers license training and tests were heavily revamped to properly train drivers in piloting their flying cars, would we be able to train enough air traffic controllers to monitor the skies?
In essence, flying cars would have to be more or less kept on rails to prevent them from colliding with structures and each other. If the cars were on an automated system, traffic jams and accidents could be virtually wiped out. But such a system would require a massive regulatory infrastructure built into wherever cars go. The abundance of telecommunications receivers and transmitters would make the task less daunting, but the cost to maintain such a system would be a big financial hit, impossible with the amount of government deficits so prevalent today. Additionally the American people have long prided themselves on their freedom, and there would be some people hard pressed to give up minor freedoms in favor of the bigger picture.
The bottom line is that while flying cars is a fanciful dream, it is just that: a dream. Actual implementation would be catastrophic without everybody willing to accede quite a bit in order for it to work. In the end what people would give up most likely wouldn't be worth what they'd get in return. Flying in a car might seem like fun at first, but it ultimately would be just another form of transportation. Novelty would soon wear off, and all that would be left is another vehicle that costs tons of money, guzzles tons of gas, and gets to places a little bit faster, which is pretty much what a sports car does.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Hugo's Restaurant in Studio City
After having missed the last couple of opportunities to go to Hugo's Restaurant, we finally got our chance after basketball today.
The first Hugo's was originally a butcher shop in West Hollywood owned and run by a butcher named Hugo. When he passed away, it was taken over by Terry Kaplan who kept the name in deference to Hugo's widow. The popular butcher shop gradually grew into a bakery then a full fledged restaurant, with a second Hugo's Restaurant branching out in Studio City, which was where we went today.
The food there is made with organic ingredients. Even the ketchup offered is an organic version of Heinz's normal restaurant fare. But before you jump to the conclusion that organic means healthy which means not tasty, rest assured that is not the case at Hugo's. They offer a large variety of breakfast dishes, many with a Tex-Mex slant, and also have an extensive list of teas, including various green, black, white, and Chai variants. Slightly less varied are their entrees which put a spin on homestyle dishes, such as their Portabello Stew, Turkey Meatloaf, and Chimichurri Steak.
Friend K-Ham got an appetizer of Garlic-Parmesan Cheese Bread which he shared with the table. It came with about eight slices of whole wheat garlic loaf slathered with a generous amount of garlic, butter, parmesan cheese, parsley, and paprika. This was a good quality garlic cheese toast that didn't cut any corners. The use of a garlic loaf with whole cloves of garlic contained therein meant a double blast of garlicky goodness. Vampires beware.
San Diego Mike wanted something healthy, and opted for the Go Green Frittata. It was an egg white fritatta loaded with green veggies: chard, beet greens, kale, spinach puree, broccolini, zucchini, asparagus, quinoa, and garlic. I didn't try any of it but it looked very green and it oozed healthiness. It was even topped with alfafa sprouts. I believe Mike made the comment that he was going to have to undo all of it with all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ later.
Today I felt like a burger, so I got a beef Hugo Burger with my topping choices of bacon, cheddar cheese, sauteed mushrooms, grilled onions, and guacamole. Other possible topping choices were turkey bacon, veggie bacon, grilled chilies, mozzarella cheese, and vegan mozzarella cheese, with a maximum of five of those options. Vegan mozzarella is a soy-based mock mozzarella, while there is no vegan option for the cheddar. I got my burger medium rare on a whole wheat ciabatta bun, but for an additional dollar you can get the burger on garlic toast. My choice of toppings made for messy burger that was difficult to handle at first. The burger was stacked so high that I almost pulled my jaw muscles trying to take the first bite.
The patty was hormone and antibiotic-free Angus beef, which had a slightly different taste than other burgers. It was cleaner tasting, but had less beefiness to it. The ground beef was also particularly lean, perhaps 85/15 or 87/13, which might have been a factor. Not particularly bad, but I thought it would have been even tastier with perhaps a 3-5% higher fat content. Those who are used to eating your average, hormone-loaded, antibiotic-filled beef might be put off by the clean taste, but it is refreshing and is a different take on beef patties.
The bacon itself was thick cut, and paired well with the beef, especially in the absence of additional fat content. However the sauteed mushrooms and grilled onions were a bit bland, being unsalted. When eaten with the burger it isn't much of a problem, but when you eat them individually it's quite apparent. The guacamole had a tendency to get lost with so much on the burger, but when it popped up it only enriched the experience. The ciabatta seemed like an interesting choice for a burger bun, but the firm outer crust allowed it to hold up slightly better than a standard hamburger bun. Of course the rarer the burger the more juice there is which inevitably soaks into the bun and causes breakup issues, so keep that in mind.
The burger also came with fries on the side. I could have also chosen fresh mixed greens or fruit, but honestly, did I really have a choice? The fries were natural cut and sprinkled liberally with seasoned salt. They were reasonably firm with a crispy exterior, and were to my liking.
The burger and fries were quite solid. It's a dish that holds up well, although could be improved with some minor adjustments. I will probably need to perform additional tastings to form a better assessment of Hugo's overall, but it seems to be a good place, at least to get a burger. And I suppose its being organic makes eating there a little bit more guilt-free.
This pic is only here to illustrate what a combination of mozzarella and cheddar looks like on the burger. This was A's burger, which didn't come with his bacon at first.
Some other notes on Hugo's:
- 4-6 out of 7 on my mess-o-meter, depending on the rareness of the burger and the selection of toppings. 4 means stuff might fall off, 6 means you will need plenty of napkins.
- 6.5 out of 10 on my burg-o-meter, meaning I would be willing to eat there again if I happen to be in the area.
Hugo's Restaurant
West Hollywood
8401 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(323) 654-3993
Studio City
12851 Riverside Dr.
Studio City, CA 91607
(818) 761-8985
Hugo's Restaurant
The first Hugo's was originally a butcher shop in West Hollywood owned and run by a butcher named Hugo. When he passed away, it was taken over by Terry Kaplan who kept the name in deference to Hugo's widow. The popular butcher shop gradually grew into a bakery then a full fledged restaurant, with a second Hugo's Restaurant branching out in Studio City, which was where we went today.
The food there is made with organic ingredients. Even the ketchup offered is an organic version of Heinz's normal restaurant fare. But before you jump to the conclusion that organic means healthy which means not tasty, rest assured that is not the case at Hugo's. They offer a large variety of breakfast dishes, many with a Tex-Mex slant, and also have an extensive list of teas, including various green, black, white, and Chai variants. Slightly less varied are their entrees which put a spin on homestyle dishes, such as their Portabello Stew, Turkey Meatloaf, and Chimichurri Steak.
Friend K-Ham got an appetizer of Garlic-Parmesan Cheese Bread which he shared with the table. It came with about eight slices of whole wheat garlic loaf slathered with a generous amount of garlic, butter, parmesan cheese, parsley, and paprika. This was a good quality garlic cheese toast that didn't cut any corners. The use of a garlic loaf with whole cloves of garlic contained therein meant a double blast of garlicky goodness. Vampires beware.
San Diego Mike wanted something healthy, and opted for the Go Green Frittata. It was an egg white fritatta loaded with green veggies: chard, beet greens, kale, spinach puree, broccolini, zucchini, asparagus, quinoa, and garlic. I didn't try any of it but it looked very green and it oozed healthiness. It was even topped with alfafa sprouts. I believe Mike made the comment that he was going to have to undo all of it with all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ later.
Today I felt like a burger, so I got a beef Hugo Burger with my topping choices of bacon, cheddar cheese, sauteed mushrooms, grilled onions, and guacamole. Other possible topping choices were turkey bacon, veggie bacon, grilled chilies, mozzarella cheese, and vegan mozzarella cheese, with a maximum of five of those options. Vegan mozzarella is a soy-based mock mozzarella, while there is no vegan option for the cheddar. I got my burger medium rare on a whole wheat ciabatta bun, but for an additional dollar you can get the burger on garlic toast. My choice of toppings made for messy burger that was difficult to handle at first. The burger was stacked so high that I almost pulled my jaw muscles trying to take the first bite.
The patty was hormone and antibiotic-free Angus beef, which had a slightly different taste than other burgers. It was cleaner tasting, but had less beefiness to it. The ground beef was also particularly lean, perhaps 85/15 or 87/13, which might have been a factor. Not particularly bad, but I thought it would have been even tastier with perhaps a 3-5% higher fat content. Those who are used to eating your average, hormone-loaded, antibiotic-filled beef might be put off by the clean taste, but it is refreshing and is a different take on beef patties.
The bacon itself was thick cut, and paired well with the beef, especially in the absence of additional fat content. However the sauteed mushrooms and grilled onions were a bit bland, being unsalted. When eaten with the burger it isn't much of a problem, but when you eat them individually it's quite apparent. The guacamole had a tendency to get lost with so much on the burger, but when it popped up it only enriched the experience. The ciabatta seemed like an interesting choice for a burger bun, but the firm outer crust allowed it to hold up slightly better than a standard hamburger bun. Of course the rarer the burger the more juice there is which inevitably soaks into the bun and causes breakup issues, so keep that in mind.
The burger also came with fries on the side. I could have also chosen fresh mixed greens or fruit, but honestly, did I really have a choice? The fries were natural cut and sprinkled liberally with seasoned salt. They were reasonably firm with a crispy exterior, and were to my liking.
The burger and fries were quite solid. It's a dish that holds up well, although could be improved with some minor adjustments. I will probably need to perform additional tastings to form a better assessment of Hugo's overall, but it seems to be a good place, at least to get a burger. And I suppose its being organic makes eating there a little bit more guilt-free.
This pic is only here to illustrate what a combination of mozzarella and cheddar looks like on the burger. This was A's burger, which didn't come with his bacon at first.
Some other notes on Hugo's:
- 4-6 out of 7 on my mess-o-meter, depending on the rareness of the burger and the selection of toppings. 4 means stuff might fall off, 6 means you will need plenty of napkins.
- 6.5 out of 10 on my burg-o-meter, meaning I would be willing to eat there again if I happen to be in the area.
Hugo's Restaurant
West Hollywood
8401 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(323) 654-3993
Studio City
12851 Riverside Dr.
Studio City, CA 91607
(818) 761-8985
Hugo's Restaurant
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