Tony Todd is one of those actors who has a memorable voice and face, but most people don't know his name. He's been in such films as "Night of the Living Dead" (the Tom Savini version), "The Rock" ("You know how this shit works?"), "Final Destination," and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." But he is perhaps best remembered as the titular character of the "Candyman" series in which he plays the Candyman, the vengeful spirit of an urban legend similar to Bloody Mary. Chant Candyman's name four times (or was it five?) and he'll appear with his hook-hand and bees at his command.
I saw Tony Todd at a Rubio's in West L.A. He was pretty tall, and unmistakable as who could ever forget the Candyman? He was there with a friend, and although he stood out, people weren't swarming him. I don't understand why. Who wouldn't want the Candyman's autograph?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Pitch - Hobo Reality Shows
I derive a great deal of inspiration whenever I'm around my friends. This week's brilliant idea revolved around hobos, hobodom, and reality TV shows.
"Survivor" is a hugely popular reality TV show in which a group of contestants are stranded in an isolated location and have to "survive." Hobos have been surviving for years, isolated in the midst of a society that largely turns a blind eye toward them. Why not provide them the opportunity to prove their survival skills while at the same time offering them a chance at a more inclusive role in society?
There are very few television programs that focus on hobos, and even fewer reality shows (by my count, zero). There are hobos all over, yet they make up a very small percentage of the characters on TV. I don't recall ever seeing a hobo on "Friends," although I might be mistaken. (After all, they did get around to showing black people when Ross had that one girlfriend who wasn't Rachel, his student, the bald girl, or the Asian girl.) So why not better represent hobos and their culture with their own reality television show?
With the ranks of the homeless bolstered by each foreclosure and loan default, there is an ever-growing contestant pool for hobo reality shows. How about "The Hobo Real World?" This is the true story of seven hobos, picked to live in an alley, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when hobos stop being polite and start being real. It is easy to imagine the accusations of who is hooking up with whom in whose sleeping box and who is taking dumps in the communal space, and still this show does not exist. Yet. Besides, the production budget would be phenomenally low and it is extremely difficult to have walkouts. Where could they go? To another alley? Most conceivably. To a house? Not very much likely.
Their limited means can often force hobos to be creative with whatever they have at hand, be it cardboard boxes and styrofoam trays or yesterdays leftovers. And hobos just have a flair for fashion with their distressed, post-apocalyptic,'90s grunge-look. It is surprising that fashionistas have not tapped more into hobo culture in developing the next big look. A little "Project Alleyway" or "America's Next Top Hobo" would do much to propel hobo couture into the limelight.
Hobos are simply fascinating with often engaging personal stories and cautionary histories. They are ripe for entertainment and deserve people's attention, so why not put them on the television? Give them a chance to regain their dignity and earn the respect of society by making them the stars their own shows, like "Jersey Hobos" and "The Real Hobo Housewives of Orange County." On second thought, perhaps they are better off where they are.
Other hobo reality TV shows conceived but not used in this article:
America's Hobos Got Talent
Dancing With the Hobos
Hobo Elimidate
Hobo Idol
Homeless Eye for the Homebound Guy
Rail Rules
Top Hobo Chef
"Survivor" is a hugely popular reality TV show in which a group of contestants are stranded in an isolated location and have to "survive." Hobos have been surviving for years, isolated in the midst of a society that largely turns a blind eye toward them. Why not provide them the opportunity to prove their survival skills while at the same time offering them a chance at a more inclusive role in society?
There are very few television programs that focus on hobos, and even fewer reality shows (by my count, zero). There are hobos all over, yet they make up a very small percentage of the characters on TV. I don't recall ever seeing a hobo on "Friends," although I might be mistaken. (After all, they did get around to showing black people when Ross had that one girlfriend who wasn't Rachel, his student, the bald girl, or the Asian girl.) So why not better represent hobos and their culture with their own reality television show?
With the ranks of the homeless bolstered by each foreclosure and loan default, there is an ever-growing contestant pool for hobo reality shows. How about "The Hobo Real World?" This is the true story of seven hobos, picked to live in an alley, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when hobos stop being polite and start being real. It is easy to imagine the accusations of who is hooking up with whom in whose sleeping box and who is taking dumps in the communal space, and still this show does not exist. Yet. Besides, the production budget would be phenomenally low and it is extremely difficult to have walkouts. Where could they go? To another alley? Most conceivably. To a house? Not very much likely.
Their limited means can often force hobos to be creative with whatever they have at hand, be it cardboard boxes and styrofoam trays or yesterdays leftovers. And hobos just have a flair for fashion with their distressed, post-apocalyptic,'90s grunge-look. It is surprising that fashionistas have not tapped more into hobo culture in developing the next big look. A little "Project Alleyway" or "America's Next Top Hobo" would do much to propel hobo couture into the limelight.
Hobos are simply fascinating with often engaging personal stories and cautionary histories. They are ripe for entertainment and deserve people's attention, so why not put them on the television? Give them a chance to regain their dignity and earn the respect of society by making them the stars their own shows, like "Jersey Hobos" and "The Real Hobo Housewives of Orange County." On second thought, perhaps they are better off where they are.
Other hobo reality TV shows conceived but not used in this article:
America's Hobos Got Talent
Dancing With the Hobos
Hobo Elimidate
Hobo Idol
Homeless Eye for the Homebound Guy
Rail Rules
Top Hobo Chef
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Date With a Zombie
There are two types of people in this world—those who have a zombie preparedness plan and zombie food. I fall into the former category. I think I spend more time considering zombie plans for wherever I go than I do planning for actual emergencies. I'll tell you right now I'm not going anywhere during the great zombiepocalypse. I plan on staying right at home, plinking nearby zombies with any firearms I can obtain.
One of the things I love about zombies is that they're people, but they're also blight. Killing them is an issue of survival. For every zombie you let survive, they greater the likelihood of more people being converted. Furthermore they're being dead absolves one from murder as you can't kill what is legally dead. As such I have no qualms about massacring zombies left and right, be they family, lovers, or friends. It's like a coming out party for the little sociopath inside of me.
But what if it were possible to reverse the condition? Readers already know I don't believe that is possible as I only believe in classic zombies, but we'll go ahead and ponder this hypothetical question. Would it make a difference? No. Not to me at least. As I stated before, it's a matter of survival. If there were some blanket cure that the government could rain from the skies, then fine. But while FEMA and the military are busy dragging they're asses, I'll be doing my best to reduce the zombie population to nil.
So I already have plans for the zombiepocalypse. I'm almost certain they're a little different from your plans, oh reader. Mine might not be the best plan, but between us, who do you think is going to be having more fun?
One of the things I love about zombies is that they're people, but they're also blight. Killing them is an issue of survival. For every zombie you let survive, they greater the likelihood of more people being converted. Furthermore they're being dead absolves one from murder as you can't kill what is legally dead. As such I have no qualms about massacring zombies left and right, be they family, lovers, or friends. It's like a coming out party for the little sociopath inside of me.
But what if it were possible to reverse the condition? Readers already know I don't believe that is possible as I only believe in classic zombies, but we'll go ahead and ponder this hypothetical question. Would it make a difference? No. Not to me at least. As I stated before, it's a matter of survival. If there were some blanket cure that the government could rain from the skies, then fine. But while FEMA and the military are busy dragging they're asses, I'll be doing my best to reduce the zombie population to nil.
So I already have plans for the zombiepocalypse. I'm almost certain they're a little different from your plans, oh reader. Mine might not be the best plan, but between us, who do you think is going to be having more fun?
Mentaiko Spaghetti
I had a craving for Japanese snacks the other day, and spent a little too much money at the Japanese market. But I also got some mentaiko (spicy cod roe) and shiso so I could make one of my favorite meals: mentaiko spaghetti. I'm the only one in the house who likes mentaiko, and since it usually comes as two pieces I can get two meals out of it.
The recipe I use is very simple: mix one tablespoon of soft butter with a small spoonful of kombu-cha and the insides of one piece of mentaiko. Mix with freshly made pasta, and the mentaiko will semi-cook from the residual heat. Then all you have to do is top it with sliced shiso and nori. It only takes about 10 minutes to make. By comparison it took five minutes to take the picture.
The recipe I use is very simple: mix one tablespoon of soft butter with a small spoonful of kombu-cha and the insides of one piece of mentaiko. Mix with freshly made pasta, and the mentaiko will semi-cook from the residual heat. Then all you have to do is top it with sliced shiso and nori. It only takes about 10 minutes to make. By comparison it took five minutes to take the picture.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Faux Versailles
Costco has a very good carnitas product that just needs to be microwaved. It has all sorts of applications: it can also be used for BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, among other things. I've been wanting to make lechon asado (Cuban-style roast pork) for some time, but it's difficult to find a piece of pork picnic shoulder that large and it takes several hours to prepare, so I decided to shortcut it by using the microwaveable carnitas.
I still had plantains from when I made the jerk chicken, so I assembled a meal like the one they serve at Versailles. I made a roughshod garlic mojo criollo sauce and also prepared some converted rice and black beans. The rice turned out a little too hard, but the plantains weren't bad (they did take two weeks to ripen), and the lechon with the mojo criollo sauce actually came out tasting similar to Versailles' dish.
I still had plantains from when I made the jerk chicken, so I assembled a meal like the one they serve at Versailles. I made a roughshod garlic mojo criollo sauce and also prepared some converted rice and black beans. The rice turned out a little too hard, but the plantains weren't bad (they did take two weeks to ripen), and the lechon with the mojo criollo sauce actually came out tasting similar to Versailles' dish.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Jerk Chicken
Long time, no blog. As of late I've been afflicted with a lethal combination of the three nesses—business, tiredness, and laziness.
However today I cooked something different—jerk chicken. I first had jerk chicken when my next door neighbor shared some with me many years ago, and I've been chasing that recipe ever since. I currently use a modified version of a recipe I pulled off of the Food Network. It's okay, but not quite like the jerk chicken I had years ago.
My version is a little more layered, but lacking in the citrus-permeating flavor that I really want. It's good, oftentimes better than the jerk chicken I've had at restaurants.
It's fairly spicy, too. It's so hot, I need to use gloves when preparing the marinade. If I don't, I'm not able to put my contacts in for three days. I know, I know, why don't I scrub more? I'd pretty much have to take off the top four layers of skin to get the capsaicin out. I use habaneros which are potent enough to cause blistering if proper care isn't taken, and it really gets down deep. In the end, while the peppers are hot, the chicken is significantly less so since I remove the seeds and ribs from the pepper.
My sister made tiramisu for dessert. She even made the ladyfingers from scratch, as she was disappointed in the store-bought ones. It could be just the whipped mascarpone mix talking, but it was really good, better than any tiramisu I've had lately.
However today I cooked something different—jerk chicken. I first had jerk chicken when my next door neighbor shared some with me many years ago, and I've been chasing that recipe ever since. I currently use a modified version of a recipe I pulled off of the Food Network. It's okay, but not quite like the jerk chicken I had years ago.
My version is a little more layered, but lacking in the citrus-permeating flavor that I really want. It's good, oftentimes better than the jerk chicken I've had at restaurants.
It's fairly spicy, too. It's so hot, I need to use gloves when preparing the marinade. If I don't, I'm not able to put my contacts in for three days. I know, I know, why don't I scrub more? I'd pretty much have to take off the top four layers of skin to get the capsaicin out. I use habaneros which are potent enough to cause blistering if proper care isn't taken, and it really gets down deep. In the end, while the peppers are hot, the chicken is significantly less so since I remove the seeds and ribs from the pepper.
My sister made tiramisu for dessert. She even made the ladyfingers from scratch, as she was disappointed in the store-bought ones. It could be just the whipped mascarpone mix talking, but it was really good, better than any tiramisu I've had lately.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Shitty Movie Review - "Killdozer!"
Disclaimer: For some of my friends (you know who you are), refrain from reading this review until you've seen the film as there are some spoilers that, while they most likely won't lessen your love for the movie, might be better left unknown for the time being.
End disclaimer.
You know a movie will be good when people talk about it like a myth, but it is impossible to find a copy. Now I'd heard of "Killdozer!" through friends who in turn heard about it on the "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." It is impossible to buy a legitimate copy of "Killdozer!" but I was able to find a bootleg broadcast recording of it as an .avi file.
The film is based on a 1944 novella by Theodore Sturgeon. It took another 30 years before technology would reach the point that they could bring the novella to life.
The film does not strive to be anything more than what it is. Essentially everything you need to know is in the title: "Killdozer!" The author was able to sum up his story in a concise, straightforward, original one-word exclamation. It's a bulldozer that kills.
It is difficult to stress how amazing this movie is. Typically when I watch a movie, I try to tear it apart to see what I could do to push it back and forth over the line of common-sense film-making, to see how it could have been better, or at least smarter, then just the opposite to see how I could make it stupider. Usually I push harder for the stupider. "Killdozer!" managed to out-think me and go the extra step I would have done to defy all logic while still staying within the strict confines of the rules it sets for itself. In other words, you won't see Killdozer fly, but you will see it hiding and peeping out of the bushes, taunting people, and generally being a dick.
It is similar in plot to "Duel" which preceded it, and "Jaws" and "Christine" that followed it. Instead of a killer truck or shark, imagine a heavy bulldozer—a very slow bulldozer—that is slowly killing off the engineers and workers at an isolated Liberian construction site. I know what you're thinking—why can't they leave? Well, because they have job to do, dammit, and because they're lazy and can't run away from the unstoppable force that is Killdozer. In movies of this caliber, there is no shortage of idiocy amongst the principal characters. A character will make claims of a rogue bulldozer, yet no one will believe him and at the same time the bulldozer is clearly missing and no one else could have taken it. And no one goes looking for it. La-zee.
At one point two of the remaining characters stand at the top of a steep incline. One of them asks whether he thinks the incline is too steep for Killdozer to climb. The other character responds that, "given enough time, it can make roads anywhere."
One character, the foreman, refuses to walk further than ten feet, opting every time to hop into his jeep and drive the ten to fifteen feet to where he needs to go. It isn't until the end that he is forced to walk more than ten feet under his own strength.
Another character is so blatantly a closet homosexual it's remarkable that he even remained as is in the script. He constantly reminisces about the times he spent with his best friend, a "beautiful kid," who dies early on in the movie. He mentions getting into barroom brawls with him at his side and skinny dipping with him in Iraq. Then he invites others to join him for a midnight swim. He's always trying to pair off with one of the other guys. When it's suggested they form a threesome, he always refuses. One is enough for him.
This film has taught me many things. Why walk ten feet when you can drive? Bulldozers often go rogue. It's more important to bury your comrades than to try to stop a bulldozer from killing you. That an avalanche of small pebbles is life threatening. That rusty corrugated steel pipes make for a bad escape. That one and a half days is an impossible eternity. That Killdozer hates smoke.
I apologize for the lack of a picture, but this movie is so rad that even decent pictures are scarce.
My shitty movie rating: A perfect 10. This has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I laughed so hard I cried. It's like "Night of a 1000 Cats" or "The Wicker Man" good.
End disclaimer.
You know a movie will be good when people talk about it like a myth, but it is impossible to find a copy. Now I'd heard of "Killdozer!" through friends who in turn heard about it on the "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." It is impossible to buy a legitimate copy of "Killdozer!" but I was able to find a bootleg broadcast recording of it as an .avi file.
The film is based on a 1944 novella by Theodore Sturgeon. It took another 30 years before technology would reach the point that they could bring the novella to life.
The film does not strive to be anything more than what it is. Essentially everything you need to know is in the title: "Killdozer!" The author was able to sum up his story in a concise, straightforward, original one-word exclamation. It's a bulldozer that kills.
It is difficult to stress how amazing this movie is. Typically when I watch a movie, I try to tear it apart to see what I could do to push it back and forth over the line of common-sense film-making, to see how it could have been better, or at least smarter, then just the opposite to see how I could make it stupider. Usually I push harder for the stupider. "Killdozer!" managed to out-think me and go the extra step I would have done to defy all logic while still staying within the strict confines of the rules it sets for itself. In other words, you won't see Killdozer fly, but you will see it hiding and peeping out of the bushes, taunting people, and generally being a dick.
It is similar in plot to "Duel" which preceded it, and "Jaws" and "Christine" that followed it. Instead of a killer truck or shark, imagine a heavy bulldozer—a very slow bulldozer—that is slowly killing off the engineers and workers at an isolated Liberian construction site. I know what you're thinking—why can't they leave? Well, because they have job to do, dammit, and because they're lazy and can't run away from the unstoppable force that is Killdozer. In movies of this caliber, there is no shortage of idiocy amongst the principal characters. A character will make claims of a rogue bulldozer, yet no one will believe him and at the same time the bulldozer is clearly missing and no one else could have taken it. And no one goes looking for it. La-zee.
At one point two of the remaining characters stand at the top of a steep incline. One of them asks whether he thinks the incline is too steep for Killdozer to climb. The other character responds that, "given enough time, it can make roads anywhere."
One character, the foreman, refuses to walk further than ten feet, opting every time to hop into his jeep and drive the ten to fifteen feet to where he needs to go. It isn't until the end that he is forced to walk more than ten feet under his own strength.
Another character is so blatantly a closet homosexual it's remarkable that he even remained as is in the script. He constantly reminisces about the times he spent with his best friend, a "beautiful kid," who dies early on in the movie. He mentions getting into barroom brawls with him at his side and skinny dipping with him in Iraq. Then he invites others to join him for a midnight swim. He's always trying to pair off with one of the other guys. When it's suggested they form a threesome, he always refuses. One is enough for him.
This film has taught me many things. Why walk ten feet when you can drive? Bulldozers often go rogue. It's more important to bury your comrades than to try to stop a bulldozer from killing you. That an avalanche of small pebbles is life threatening. That rusty corrugated steel pipes make for a bad escape. That one and a half days is an impossible eternity. That Killdozer hates smoke.
I apologize for the lack of a picture, but this movie is so rad that even decent pictures are scarce.
My shitty movie rating: A perfect 10. This has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I laughed so hard I cried. It's like "Night of a 1000 Cats" or "The Wicker Man" good.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Celebrity Sightings - David Cross
Living in L.A., you bump into so many celebrities that sometimes you forget. Case in point, the time I saw David Cross at Souplantation. Now I'm not a particularly big fan of Souplantation (honestly I hate it). Their all-you-can-eat lunch feels like a rip off since meat is as scarce as a hippo at a hipster hip-hop fest. But for some reason I was there, by myself, when I saw David Cross, also looking somewhat dissatisfied, as he jotted notes down in a booklet. He was probably writing jokes about how Souplantation doesn't really offer as many soups as you would expect ("Souplantation, more like craplantation") and how they somehow managed to demeatify as much of their food as possible. Donny think crappy.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Killing Time in the Children's Section
A really good way to kill time is to go to the children's section of any bookstore and start reading books. You can accomplish a variety of things this way.
Firstly, you can learn new words and increase your vocabulary. Because children's books are aimed at children, the meanings of words can be easily discerned based on the context and images in the book.
Secondly, most children's books are short and yet many are story-driven with relatively simple plots. This makes children's books easy to understand while at the same time offering a very fast form of entertainment. In the amount of time it would take to read an adult novel, you could probably read over a dozen children's books. Imagine, that's twelve times the number of stories that are usually contained in a novel!
Thirdly, for parents, reading children's books in the children's section allows you to pre-screen books for your children. By reading the book first you gain an understanding of the material and can also select titles that are worthwhile.
Lastly, it's easy to miss simple life lessons as you grow up. A good way to learn about important themes like friendship, teamwork, or honesty is by reading children's books. Almost all children's books focus on some theme or moral making them invaluable as teaching tools.
So next time you have a few minutes to spare, head on over to the children's section of the bookstore where entertainment and learning abound.
Firstly, you can learn new words and increase your vocabulary. Because children's books are aimed at children, the meanings of words can be easily discerned based on the context and images in the book.
Secondly, most children's books are short and yet many are story-driven with relatively simple plots. This makes children's books easy to understand while at the same time offering a very fast form of entertainment. In the amount of time it would take to read an adult novel, you could probably read over a dozen children's books. Imagine, that's twelve times the number of stories that are usually contained in a novel!
Thirdly, for parents, reading children's books in the children's section allows you to pre-screen books for your children. By reading the book first you gain an understanding of the material and can also select titles that are worthwhile.
Lastly, it's easy to miss simple life lessons as you grow up. A good way to learn about important themes like friendship, teamwork, or honesty is by reading children's books. Almost all children's books focus on some theme or moral making them invaluable as teaching tools.
So next time you have a few minutes to spare, head on over to the children's section of the bookstore where entertainment and learning abound.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Grilled Portabello Caprese Panini
After having eaten Skooby's and Carney's within the last week, I had to go a little lighter with dinner, so I opted with a panini. This particular panini was inspired by Caprese salads and Caprese sandwiches as well as a portabello panini I had at the L.A. Convention Center several years ago. The mushroom was a good alternative to protein, and the Caprese was refreshing. I only wished I had gotten a better mozzarella, since the one I got was a little dry for my liking.
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