Friday, February 19, 2010

Never get so drunk at a party that you black out

Such advice might seem innocuous, but don't overlook it. Many a person has found himself in less-than-desirable situations after having come to from a booze-induced coma. Being unconscious to the rest of the world does not mean that the rest of the world is unconscious to you. In fact it is far from it. For you very well could find yourself clothed in a jacuzzi with a very alert koala.

Koalas are depicted by the media and children's books as cute, docile creatures, but nothing could be more false--for without their eucalyptus fix, koalas are vicious, dirty creatures akin to crashing dope junkies and desperate crack fiends. As such, you wouldn't want to come face to face with a sober koala. It would not be pretty. Without the soporific effect of eucalyptus in the koala's bloodstream, expect an enraged koala to disembowel you in seconds as it searches for more sweet, sweet eucalyptus. If you are lucky, your hangover and any remnants of your drunkenness will dull the pain slightly.

All of this leads of course to a next bit of advice: always keep some eucalyptus on your body, especially if you are planning to party, and party hard. That way, should you ever awake and come across a koala, you will be prepared to give it that which it craves and needs.

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