Sunday, May 9, 2010

Zombie Protection Plan

While conversing with my friends yesterday, the conversation inevitably turned to zombies and 24-hour restaurants. Somehow this made me ponder what I would consider so important that I would have to go out into the zombie-pocalypse to protect it, much as how Shaun went to rescue his mum and his ex-girlfriend Liz in "Shaun of the Dead."

There is my family, of course, but once the house and perimeter are secure, which takes only minutes, I will be free to protect the next most important thing. Seeing as how I don't have a significant other, the next most precious thing to my heart would have to be Pioneer Chicken.

Since cars will be practically useless, I'll have to either find a motorcycle or bicycle, but most likely I will have to run there. Pioneer Chicken is only about three miles away, so it's doable. I'm going to have to train though, since I'm out of shape at the moment. Hopefully the zombie-pocalypse won't be for a few weeks. I can't guarantee that I'll save Irene, but I'll try my best to save Lorenzo, since he knows how to cook the chicken.

As long as Lorenzo keeps frying up the chicken, I'll be able to fight off the zombie horde. Pioneer fried chicken is to me as spinach is to Popeye.

Someday, we'll all be dead. But a world without Pioneer Chicken? I would be willing to sacrifice myself to keep that from ever happening.

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