Why Mars Wouldn't Be Such a Bad Place For Me to Live

I'm thinking about moving some time in the next several months. There are a number of factors playing into my decision including proximity to work, proximity to friends, cost, access to food, zombie security, neighbors, etc. Some of my top candidates include Silverlake (closer to work, but also closer to hipsters which is a plus/minus), West LA (closer to friends, farther from work, but better food), and Los Feliz (closer to work, hipsters again). But one other option that I really should consider is Mars. The red planet, the fourth in our solar system, actually wouldn't be a bad fit for me. It might be far from my workplace and my friends for that matter, but it's also far from my enemies. Here's a few reason why Mars wouldn't be such a bad place for me to live.

The days are longer on Mars, 2.7% longer than Earth's in fact. Days on Mars are 24 hours and 39 minutes long. That means I could get an extra 39 minutes of beauty sleep!

The years are also longer on Mars at 687 Earth days. That means I would be considerably younger in Martian years. Why, in Martian years I'd be a little bit less than sixteen-years old! I'd still be a teenager!

Mars is also considerably cooler, at over 1.5 times the Earth's distance from the sun. As I run hot and prefer cooler climates, this would work in my favor.

I also prefer night to day for the most part, because it's cooler and also because it makes for better movie watching. And it's much easier and more fun to look up at the starry night sky than it is to look into the retina-frying sun. Plus Mars has two moons, Phobos and Deimos. That would be like having two giant nite-lites in the sky.

Lastly Mars is named after the Roman god of war (who in turn is just a rip off of the Greek god of war, Ares). I'm not particularly fond of war, but I do enjoy weapons of all sorts. It's like it was meant to be!

There are drawbacks to living on Mars though. Enormous dust storms. The largest dust storms in the solar system. That makes it pretty hard to play basketball outdoors. Limited water supply, possibly hidden in the polar ice caps. So no swimming pools. A nigh unbreathable atmosphere. Zero food options. But if a Mos Burger or a Pioneer Chicken were to open on Mars, then that would pretty much seal the deal for me.