Radio Presets

I think you can learn a lot about a person by the radio presets s/he has programmed in her/his car. First of all, s/he is the type of person that owns a car. And if s/he is listening to the radio instead of her/his own MP3 playlist, s/he is probably not that crazy into music. Or perhaps s/he is old school. Or just old. So here are my radio presets. Read into them what you will. But if you guess that I'm black, Latino, or college-aged, you'd be wrong.

1. 89.3 KPCC (NPR)

2. 88.9 KXLU

3. 101.1 KRTH (K-EARTH)

4. 107.1 KSSE (Super Estrella)

5. 93.1 KCBS (Jack FM)

6. 95.5 KLOS (Southern California's Best Rock)

7. 96.3 KXOL (Latino)

8. 105.9 KPWR (Power)

9. 93.5 KDAY

10. 102.7 KIIS

11. 98.7 KYSR (This used to be Star, I have no idea what it is now)

12. 106.7 KROQ

Dressed Like the Douche in a Movie

The other day I went to see a movie, and while I was watching it, I thought to myself, "what would happen if I you went to see a movie, and by chance I you dressed exactly like one of the characters in it." And what if this character also happened to be a big douche and wasn't exactly the best dressed or nicest looking guy?

I'm just speculating here, it wasn't like this actually happened ... to me. Or anyone else I know. Besides I'm probably better looking, right? I don't know about the dressed part, but wouldn't that be awkward? For that person, I mean.

Fatvision

Hey! Peeps! Do you have this problem? My mom has fatvision, among her many other ailments. That's when you see everything as needing to be fatter, or bigger, than it should be. Like if something, or someone, is a tad bit thin, then it's too thin to her. Or let's say if a portion of food is just right, she thinks it should be bigger.

She does this with salting pasta, where the directions usually call for a tablespoon of salt for every 3-4 quarts, but then she pours in about a quarter cup. That could also be connected to one of her other ailments though, saltizing.

Inconsequential Time Travel Addendum - Consequential Time Travel

It has been brought to my attention that my presence at some of the events I listed might be a little more than inconsequential. I suppose trading pornography could have serious repercussions, but when you consider the taboo around such things, it's unlikely anybody would dare break the obscenity laws of the time by willingly going to the authorities to present it as evidence of a time traveler from the future. And were I at a Greek orgy I know the appearance of a clothed, Asian male would be jarring, but I think they would have more urgent matters to mind. But riding on the back of a triceratops? What harm could that do?

So I now present a list of things I would do with a time machine that would be more consequential:

- I would go back in time to tell myself not buy this or that thing of which there are too many instances to list.
- I would go back in time to tell myself not to order this/order that instead of which again there are too many instances to list.
- I would go back in time and tell John Delorean that he must insist on sticking with the 6-cylinder engine rather than going with the weaker and more compact 4-cylinder. And also that he should lay off of the cocaine. Who knows, maybe Doc Brown wouldn't have to wait to accelerate to 88 mph.
- I would murder George Lucas around 1994. Ditto for Harrison Ford in 2004.
- I would tell Woodrow Wilson he needs to calm down and rest a little bit.
- I would suggest Captain Smith of the R.M.S. Titanic that maybe it would be a good idea for the ice breaker to come around, thus avoiding a little film that appeared in 1997.
- I would stop Sirhan Sirhan from shooting Bobby Kennedy. I would not stop Lee Harvey Oswald though.
- I would tell myself not to chug that 2 liter of Hawaiian Punch right before watching "Pineapple Express."
- I would refuse to go to watch "The Englishman Who Came Up a Hill and Went Down a Mountain" with my family.
- I would tell Don Simpson that he must for the sake of future movie goers and television watchers lay off of the drugs and prostitutes since somebody needs to balance out Jerry Bruckheimer. Then I will list off all the movies and TV shows that Bruckheimer has produced since. I'm pretty sure that would sober him up some.
- I would tell M. Night Shyamalan after "Unbreakable" that he should quit while he was at the top of his game. On second thought, I would wait until after "The Happening."
- I would invest in the Asylum.

The Pitch - "Future Porn"

This title is a bit misleading since it has nothing to do with the adult entertainment in the future. Rather it's a short story concept about pornography and how it's evolved over time.

The basic premise is this: a man develops a time machine so that he can go back into the past and collect Tijuana Bibles. For those who don't know, Tijuana Bibles were pornographic comic books produced from the '20s through the '60s. But since currency has changed over time, he takes with him the only currency he knows that would have fair trade value: pornography. But since computers, DVD players, and VCRs don't exist in the past, he only takes print material, mainly dirty magazines. He expects people of the past to be appalled by modern day pornography, but is equally surprised at how skewed sexual morays were in the past as perceived by the present. Some of the items he trades for turn out to be quite graphic, whereas the most significant claims to his magazines are that they exhibit greater photographic fidelity and that the women have less hair. In the end he returns to the present with his collection of Tijuana Bibles and destroys the time machine so that it cannot be misused for more dubious acts.

I find writing about the story is far more fun that actually writing the story, although that still stands as a possibility. This is probably because it falls in line with my dreams of inconsequential time travel. If I could time travel, there are number of things I would like to do that don't stand to impact the flow of history at all. These are:

- Buy a pair of every single Air Jordan from the AJI to the AJXIV when it was originally released.
- Watch Napoleon's men use the Sphinx's nose for target practice.
- See the roof blow off of the Parthenon.
- Watch the 70th Academy Awards on TV.
- Catch the original airing of the last episode of "St. Elsewhere"
- Videotape Michael Jordan's first retirement ceremony.
- Watch the 1961 Rose Bowl game live from the Golden Gophers' side.
- Stand on line for the premier of "Star Wars."
- Watch that infamous performance of a local Peter Pan production as recounted on "This American Life."
- Eat at McDonald's in the '50s.
- Eat Ortolan before they became protected.
- Check out a Greek orgy.
- Ghost watch.
- Drink a Coca-Cola in the early 20th century.
- Ride a dinosaur.
- Ride a zeppelin.

So yes, maybe I would like to go back into the past to trade porn for porn. There could be worse things a person could do with a time machine.

If I Won the Lottery

My family was watching an old episode of "Castle" wherein the question of what would you do if you won the lottery was posed to every character in the show.

Here was my verbatim answer:

"I would pay off my debt and hire a financial planner. Put a large chunk into savings, invest the rest. Take a small part of it to live off of. Move out into an apartment. Maybe buy a new TV. What do I need with like a hundred cars, I can only drive one at a time. Quit my job and take some time looking for one I really want, or a part-time job. Buy some construction paper. Stock my refrigerator with soda."

That, in a nutshell, is exactly what I would do if I won the lottery, whether it be $100,000 or $100,000,000 dollars. And for the record, it would be a 3-D TV. Probably a Sony.

Undergarments

The other day I had to buy some undergarments at my neighborhood Target. I needed some briefs to replenish my underwear supply, and selected a set of Hanes lowrise briefs. Lo and behold when I brought them home that I found that they had no windows. Moreover, they were quite sheer. They were manties! I don't know when Hanes started making manties, but boy was I surprised as I never considered myself a manties type. Panties maybe. They are actually quite comfortable. Manties that is. And so a toast to manties!

Why Mars Wouldn't Be Such a Bad Place For Me to Live

I'm thinking about moving some time in the next several months. There are a number of factors playing into my decision including proximity to work, proximity to friends, cost, access to food, zombie security, neighbors, etc. Some of my top candidates include Silverlake (closer to work, but also closer to hipsters which is a plus/minus), West LA (closer to friends, farther from work, but better food), and Los Feliz (closer to work, hipsters again). But one other option that I really should consider is Mars. The red planet, the fourth in our solar system, actually wouldn't be a bad fit for me. It might be far from my workplace and my friends for that matter, but it's also far from my enemies. Here's a few reason why Mars wouldn't be such a bad place for me to live.

The days are longer on Mars, 2.7% longer than Earth's in fact. Days on Mars are 24 hours and 39 minutes long. That means I could get an extra 39 minutes of beauty sleep!

The years are also longer on Mars at 687 Earth days. That means I would be considerably younger in Martian years. Why, in Martian years I'd be a little bit less than sixteen-years old! I'd still be a teenager!

Mars is also considerably cooler, at over 1.5 times the Earth's distance from the sun. As I run hot and prefer cooler climates, this would work in my favor.

I also prefer night to day for the most part, because it's cooler and also because it makes for better movie watching. And it's much easier and more fun to look up at the starry night sky than it is to look into the retina-frying sun. Plus Mars has two moons, Phobos and Deimos. That would be like having two giant nite-lites in the sky.

Lastly Mars is named after the Roman god of war (who in turn is just a rip off of the Greek god of war, Ares). I'm not particularly fond of war, but I do enjoy weapons of all sorts. It's like it was meant to be!

There are drawbacks to living on Mars though. Enormous dust storms. The largest dust storms in the solar system. That makes it pretty hard to play basketball outdoors. Limited water supply, possibly hidden in the polar ice caps. So no swimming pools. A nigh unbreathable atmosphere. Zero food options. But if a Mos Burger or a Pioneer Chicken were to open on Mars, then that would pretty much seal the deal for me.

Sustainability in Zombieful World

When the zombiepocalypse comes, most people will likely hole up in their homes in favor of self-preservation. In some areas it is likely that people will be able to survive on their own without assistance from the government for weeks, possibly years. But while these people remain locked behind doors and barricades, who will be handling recyclables and waste management? While eradication of the zombie scourge is a top priority, civil undertakings should not be neglected. Most assuredly people will be making do and reusing what they can under the circumstances, but there will be refuse and other wasted materials no doubt filling the streets. Without regular trash collections and ongoing recycling, garbage will pile up higher than a zombie staircase trying to reach the last fat cat stuck on the second balcony at the Met. By continuing waste disposal service in the midst of adversity, humankind supports sustainability on a number of fronts and proves itself as a species worth saving.

Broadly speaking, sustainability is the ability to endure, so it is doubly appropriate with respect to zombies. As zombies are for the most part unique to humans (depending on the source material), they pose a singular threat to peoplekind. Zombies threaten all aspects of human life, from politics to society, economics, etc. Hence it is appropriate that people would take a stand against zombies to preserve the status quo.

But sustainability also relates to ecology and the environment. Creating a sustainable environment also promotes the status quo insofar as slowing down the ravaging effects of industrialization and civilization in general. Sustainable environments can also ensure a healthier future with reduced greenhouse gases and increased flora and fauna populations over time which adds much to diversity in nature. Should the environment be tainted by an overzealous human race ignorant of what is happening, zombies won't be the only thing threatening their existence.

By continuing to be the custodians of the Earth, humans will prove to be worthy caretakers who deserved to have inherited it from the dinosaurs. Furthermore keeping the streets clean would likely reduce the transmission of fatal infections and diseases that would only serve to increase the zombie state. People really have to do their part in maintaining a sustainable environment if they hope to survive. By focusing solely on the zombie dilemma while neglecting other areas of life, humans will paint themselves into a corner where it will be all to easy for the zombies to trap them and consume their delectable brains.

The Pitch - Hobo Reality Shows

I derive a great deal of inspiration whenever I'm around my friends. This week's brilliant idea revolved around hobos, hobodom, and reality TV shows.

"Survivor" is a hugely popular reality TV show in which a group of contestants are stranded in an isolated location and have to "survive." Hobos have been surviving for years, isolated in the midst of a society that largely turns a blind eye toward them. Why not provide them the opportunity to prove their survival skills while at the same time offering them a chance at a more inclusive role in society?

There are very few television programs that focus on hobos, and even fewer reality shows (by my count, zero). There are hobos all over, yet they make up a very small percentage of the characters on TV. I don't recall ever seeing a hobo on "Friends," although I might be mistaken. (After all, they did get around to showing black people when Ross had that one girlfriend who wasn't Rachel, his student, the bald girl, or the Asian girl.) So why not better represent hobos and their culture with their own reality television show?

With the ranks of the homeless bolstered by each foreclosure and loan default, there is an ever-growing contestant pool for hobo reality shows. How about "The Hobo Real World?" This is the true story of seven hobos, picked to live in an alley, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when hobos stop being polite and start being real. It is easy to imagine the accusations of who is hooking up with whom in whose sleeping box and who is taking dumps in the communal space, and still this show does not exist. Yet. Besides, the production budget would be phenomenally low and it is extremely difficult to have walkouts. Where could they go? To another alley? Most conceivably. To a house? Not very much likely.

Their limited means can often force hobos to be creative with whatever they have at hand, be it cardboard boxes and styrofoam trays or yesterdays leftovers. And hobos just have a flair for fashion with their distressed, post-apocalyptic,'90s grunge-look. It is surprising that fashionistas have not tapped more into hobo culture in developing the next big look. A little "Project Alleyway" or "America's Next Top Hobo" would do much to propel hobo couture into the limelight.

Hobos are simply fascinating with often engaging personal stories and cautionary histories. They are ripe for entertainment and deserve people's attention, so why not put them on the television? Give them a chance to regain their dignity and earn the respect of society by making them the stars their own shows, like "Jersey Hobos" and "The Real Hobo Housewives of Orange County." On second thought, perhaps they are better off where they are.



Other hobo reality TV shows conceived but not used in this article:

America's Hobos Got Talent
Dancing With the Hobos
Hobo Elimidate
Hobo Idol
Homeless Eye for the Homebound Guy
Rail Rules
Top Hobo Chef

Date With a Zombie

There are two types of people in this world—those who have a zombie preparedness plan and zombie food. I fall into the former category. I think I spend more time considering zombie plans for wherever I go than I do planning for actual emergencies. I'll tell you right now I'm not going anywhere during the great zombiepocalypse. I plan on staying right at home, plinking nearby zombies with any firearms I can obtain.

One of the things I love about zombies is that they're people, but they're also blight. Killing them is an issue of survival. For every zombie you let survive, they greater the likelihood of more people being converted. Furthermore they're being dead absolves one from murder as you can't kill what is legally dead. As such I have no qualms about massacring zombies left and right, be they family, lovers, or friends. It's like a coming out party for the little sociopath inside of me.

But what if it were possible to reverse the condition? Readers already know I don't believe that is possible as I only believe in classic zombies, but we'll go ahead and ponder this hypothetical question. Would it make a difference? No. Not to me at least. As I stated before, it's a matter of survival. If there were some blanket cure that the government could rain from the skies, then fine. But while FEMA and the military are busy dragging they're asses, I'll be doing my best to reduce the zombie population to nil.

So I already have plans for the zombiepocalypse. I'm almost certain they're a little different from your plans, oh reader. Mine might not be the best plan, but between us, who do you think is going to be having more fun?

Killing Time in the Children's Section

A really good way to kill time is to go to the children's section of any bookstore and start reading books. You can accomplish a variety of things this way.

Firstly, you can learn new words and increase your vocabulary. Because children's books are aimed at children, the meanings of words can be easily discerned based on the context and images in the book.

Secondly, most children's books are short and yet many are story-driven with relatively simple plots. This makes children's books easy to understand while at the same time offering a very fast form of entertainment. In the amount of time it would take to read an adult novel, you could probably read over a dozen children's books. Imagine, that's twelve times the number of stories that are usually contained in a novel!

Thirdly, for parents, reading children's books in the children's section allows you to pre-screen books for your children. By reading the book first you gain an understanding of the material and can also select titles that are worthwhile.

Lastly, it's easy to miss simple life lessons as you grow up. A good way to learn about important themes like friendship, teamwork, or honesty is by reading children's books. Almost all children's books focus on some theme or moral making them invaluable as teaching tools.

So next time you have a few minutes to spare, head on over to the children's section of the bookstore where entertainment and learning abound.

Books for Sale

I had to go to Little Tokyo today to do some grocery shopping, so I stopped by the bookstore to see if they had anything of interest. Well, they did, but not for the reasons you might think. On the sales rack were a bunch of the books I worked on (nearly the whole row in the middle). It's strange to think that that company I worked for has been gone for about a year and a half now, and yet there are still books out there that stand as a testament that we did exist at one time.

It's a little sad to see them being sold so cheaply, but I feel like we worked very hard on them and that we did a good job, so I can be proud.

I see that there's still a copy of "Yoki Koto Kiku," so you should grab it if you have the chance. Or ask me for one ... I kind of have a case of those in my closet. Shh, it's our little secret ;)

Olympic Pole Dancing

Apparently pole dancing is being considered for an Olympic event, and I for one am going to support this. Pole dancing is an incredible art form. I'm not talking about two-drink-minimum-stripper-club pole dancing, but sensual, body sculpture, classy pole dancing. However I'm a little concerned about one thing: is it only going to be female pole dancing?

Traditionally, pole dancing has been a female art form, for particular reasons which need not be explained. But if a sport is going to be introduced to the Olympics, shouldn't it be open to both genders? Which begs the question, why not male pole dancing? Before any readers leave in disgust, hear me out. While generally not as light as women, men have greater strength and therefore should be physically adept at pole dancing. Furthermore, shouldn't women (or homosexual men for that matter) also be able to enjoy watching the sport as much as men do?

If pole dancing isn't masculine enough, why not pole dance fighting? Have two poles parallel to each other with one man to each pole, and whoever knocks the other one off first wins. To make it more challenging, and artistic, the men have to complete certain moves as they fight, such as the Jamilla, aerial upright V, or the superstar. They could be graded on artistry as well as pure victory points.

I understand this event may not be for everyone. Regardless of whether or not they plan to introduce a men's pole dancing competition, I plan on supporting pole dancing for inclusion in the Olympics. That way, little girls and their parents can rest assured knowing that pole dancing doesn't necessarily mean a bleak future of tacky lingerie and tramp stamps—there's also the possibility for Olympic gold.

Here's a video of pole dancing at it's best (NSFW):

Being the best in the world got her a job in Zumanity. I guess that's good?

Learning New Languages

In an effort to expand my world, I've started a language program to learn Mandarin. The program is called "Ni Hao, Kai-lan."

With the help of Kai-lan, YeYe, Rintoo, Tolee, Hoho, and Lulu, Mandarin is both easy and fun to learn. The program also teaches additional life lessons, such as the value of family, friendship, and perseverance.

So far, after having viewed a handful of episodes, I have effectively doubled my Mandarin vocabulary. Here's a list of the vocabulary I have learned thus far:

grandpa (paternal) = yé yé
1, 2, 3 = yī, èr, sān
goodbye = zài jiàn
up = shàng
down = xià
blow = chuī
carrot = hú luó bo

While I feel that this language program is highly effective, they don't cover nearly as much Mandarin per episode as I would like. I also would have preferred to learn Cantonese, as that is the Chinese dialect predominantly spoken by my Chinese friends, but you go with what's available. Hopefully if I keep this up for a year, I might know about a hundred Mandarin words or phrases, although I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly ask for a carrot in Chinese.

For more information on "Ni Hao, Kai-lan" and how you can learn Mandarin, visit their site: Ni Hao, Kai-Lan

Common Interests on Blogger

It recently occurred to me that being interested in obscure topics doesn't lend itself well to public visibility on Blogger. Of the 33 topics I list as interests on my profile, fourteen are shared by less than a hundred people, and of those fourteen interests, eight are shared by less than ten. In fact, I'm the lone person interested in cryptobiosis and retrocognition. Additionally, Blogger's spell checker doesn't even consider those two as words. It's a lonely world when you're the only one who cares about such things, but no matter.

Perhaps I should be more surprised that people are interested in some of those topics at all. But really, only two people who like black widow spiders? Only three who like capybara? Those things are awesome. And seriously, why aren't there like hundreds of more people who care about the Mongolian Death Worm population? It's not like those things are going to discover themselves.

I'm guessing it's a cultural difference. Maybe it's the Japanese side of me (which would be most of me, since I'm 100% Japanese-American) that finds these topics interesting. I'm sure that capybara and praying mantids are considerably more topical in Japan than they are in the US. And yokai are definitely more popular there as well. But in the end, I suppose it's up to me to continue blogging about these things. After all, someone needs to champion their causes, and that might as well start with me.

Something Unusual

One time my dad took us to the Japan Expo at the L.A. Convention Center. While walking into the exhibit hall, we see an 赤とんぼ (dragonfly) flying around. It started flying toward the wall and instead of landing on the ledge, it flew straight into the wall at full speed. And died. It fell onto the ledge, and we waited for a minute for it to get up, but it didn't. I've never seen a bug willfully commit suicide like that. Strange.

Crazy in Los Angeles

When you live in a city like Los Angeles, you see your share of crazy people. Honestly, you have to be a little bit delusional to live here.

One time while working at Mail Boxes, Etc., a man in sunglasses came in requesting assistance, so my coworker attended to his needs. A few minutes later, the man stated in a voice loud enough for everyone in the store to hear that he didn't like my coworker's aura. My coworker wasn't being a douche or anything like that, and I felt that he dealt with the situation rather gracefully, not coming back with any anger and just letting the guy walk out. We had no idea what the matter was about. A few minutes later, though, the man in the sunglasses returned and apologized to my coworker, giving him a hug. Now in almost any other city with a few exceptions (New York, San Francisco, New Orleans) this would be aberrant behavior, but at the time while I felt it was strange, I wasn't particularly shocked. After all, the man had said aura, so he was dealing on a spiritual level. My assessment: SoCal crazy.

Another time while I was attending college, I was taking the bus home when a lady got on and started arguing with the bus driver. Like, loud, cursing-arguing, and right from the get go. If you've ever ridden the bus, you know the bus drivers don't take no shit. She had a heavy accent too, yelling, "You fargin' sunnovbitch! You sunnovbitch!" The bus driver couldn't kick her off but he did give her an equally good tongue lashing, and the whole time I kept hoping she didn't stop and stand near me. My assessment: Crazy-crazy.

These are pretty much both ends of the spectrum here. Everybody else falls somewhere in between. And me? I'm a good deal of both, just for good measure.

Ghost Curse

I have spent a great deal of time reading ghost stories and studying ghosts, so I don't think it's too much to assume that a lot of hauntings result from traumatic deaths. Yet it's interesting in many hauntings how mundane most ghost sightings are. Even battlefield ghosts tend to be seen and not heard, and generally the sound of fighting is somewhat nondescript. What amazes me though, is how little you hear about angry, cursing ghosts. Angry ghosts are fairly common, but not particularly cursing. If I was fighting for my life, I'd probably be cursing.

Some might argue it's a difference in eras. Most history would have you believe that people were more genital (Ed. note: I originally mis-wrote this as "gentile," when I meant "genteel," so I decided to correct it as "genital" because, hell, what the hey?) in times past, but I don't believe that to always be the case. The American western frontier was occupied by many single men, and wherever there are single men, there is cursing. And there were enough gun fights resulting in fatalities that there should be angry, cursing, ghostly gunmen.

Perhaps the ghosts didn't know they were going to die and weren't prepared to swear. While possible, that couldn't always be the case. A gangster getting gunned down by G-men would most certainly know what was coming. And I don't think he'd have very kind words in that situation.

It'll be interesting to see if future ghosts take on more of the attitude of this era—and I wouldn't see why not considering that if someone dies now, they will always be from this time. That being the case, maybe there will be more swearing ghosts. Just once I'd like to read about a ghost that yells out "motherfudger."

Points to Consider When Shopping For a New Refrigerator

Today I went refrigerator shopping. We looked at the usual points of interest, i.e. energy usage, capacity, and layout—but I also checked for a number of factors that most people are unaware about.

As technology continues to advance, so do refrigerators. Nowadays, many refrigerators have built in computers that monitor temperature as well as handle water and ice dispensation. With such developments there should be growing concern regarding the refrigerator's place in our lives, since it is a growing possibility that advanced refrigerators may one day be sentient. Therefore savvy consumers should be more selective in their decisions.

I opt away from the top fridge/bottom freezer combination. If the refrigerator were to become sentient, then fighting it would be an issue. A bottom freezer refrigerator gives it a fighting advantage since the freezer is usually about knee height. The refrigerator could theoretically push the freezer drawer out taking out your legs, then finish you off with a fridge door to the chin. It's a perfect one-two combination.

Size is also an important issue. Most people want a large refrigerator as a larger size equals a greater capacity, but I say that you shouldn't get a refrigerator larger than you're capable of fighting off. A 3/4 refrigerator is appropriate for most single people, but only couples or established families should really consider a full-size. Indeed, a full-size refrigerator likely requires two fully-grown adults to combat it, so keep that in mind.

Lastly is the question of whether to get a water/ice dispensing refrigerator. I tested many a refrigerator on its dispenser placement, delivering mock jabs to the dispenser paddles. This becomes key when the refrigerator is attacking you, since it should be difficult for the refrigerator to put up a good fight if you're punching it in the control gut and forcing it to barf out water and ice cubes. But conversely, the refrigerator could use the dispenser to its advantage as a defensive mechanism to keep you at bay, or as a means of gloating over your defeated body by spewing water and ice onto your unconscious face—it's really the refrigerator's version of teabagging.

So next time you need to shop for a refrigerator, keep all this in mind, aside from issues like how cold the freezer gets and whether it's large enough to store several severed hands and heads. Because when you least expect it, the refrigerator may very well go after you, and when that happens you will be glad you thought ahead.