Welcome Back Coco!

Nearly a year ago to the day, I found myself standing in line to see a tall, gangly redhead make a fool of himself, and boy was I excited. Conan is back on television where he belongs, and because my friend the Jokekilla was able to procure tickets, I was lucky enough to be there for his second show on TBS. I was so excited to see his new show that I watched the first episode, "Baa Baa Blackmail," on the east coast feed (which airs three hours earlier than the west coast feed), plus I also DVR'd it. I wasn't expecting the show to be totally different from his last show, or even the show he had before that, and I was glad to see a lot of familiar faces in front of and behind the cameras.

Conan O'Brien had been on television pretty much uninterrupted for seventeen straight years, which constitutes the majority of my life, so to have him gone from the airwaves for the past few months seemed quite strange. But now he's back, albeit off network television, and I can rest easier at night knowing that he's out there on the TV entertaining all those insomniacs and stoners.

As for the show I saw in person, the guests were Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer, and musical guest Soundgarden. Tom Hanks has always been a good friend of the show, and I fondly remember Conan sharing screentime with him in one of the few "SNL" sketches where he appeared on camera, the classic "Five-Timers Club." Jack McBrayer was also very timely as I had just finished watching the first four seasons of "30 Rock" on Netflix. We even got a bonus performance by Soundgarden which will appear on Team Coco's website. Unfortunately that resulted in us missing the "End of the Show Song" which Conan usually sings at the end just after television feed cuts out. Oh well. We did get to see him cut a promo in which he berated writers off camera for incorrectly using "historical" instead of "historic," which was pretty funny.

So after what seemed like a long wait, Conan has triumphantly returned to television where hopefully he will remain for many years to come. All is right with the world.

Some other interesting notes about "Conan":
-The set moves back and forth to allow more room for the monologue.
-The moon really does move a lot, and it's mesmerizing. Although I don't understand why it moves.
-Andy still looks huge in person, while Conan has slimmed down quite a bit.
-The set looks really good, although I'm not crazy about the Basic Cable Band's podiums.

The Pitch - Hobo Reality Shows

I derive a great deal of inspiration whenever I'm around my friends. This week's brilliant idea revolved around hobos, hobodom, and reality TV shows.

"Survivor" is a hugely popular reality TV show in which a group of contestants are stranded in an isolated location and have to "survive." Hobos have been surviving for years, isolated in the midst of a society that largely turns a blind eye toward them. Why not provide them the opportunity to prove their survival skills while at the same time offering them a chance at a more inclusive role in society?

There are very few television programs that focus on hobos, and even fewer reality shows (by my count, zero). There are hobos all over, yet they make up a very small percentage of the characters on TV. I don't recall ever seeing a hobo on "Friends," although I might be mistaken. (After all, they did get around to showing black people when Ross had that one girlfriend who wasn't Rachel, his student, the bald girl, or the Asian girl.) So why not better represent hobos and their culture with their own reality television show?

With the ranks of the homeless bolstered by each foreclosure and loan default, there is an ever-growing contestant pool for hobo reality shows. How about "The Hobo Real World?" This is the true story of seven hobos, picked to live in an alley, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when hobos stop being polite and start being real. It is easy to imagine the accusations of who is hooking up with whom in whose sleeping box and who is taking dumps in the communal space, and still this show does not exist. Yet. Besides, the production budget would be phenomenally low and it is extremely difficult to have walkouts. Where could they go? To another alley? Most conceivably. To a house? Not very much likely.

Their limited means can often force hobos to be creative with whatever they have at hand, be it cardboard boxes and styrofoam trays or yesterdays leftovers. And hobos just have a flair for fashion with their distressed, post-apocalyptic,'90s grunge-look. It is surprising that fashionistas have not tapped more into hobo culture in developing the next big look. A little "Project Alleyway" or "America's Next Top Hobo" would do much to propel hobo couture into the limelight.

Hobos are simply fascinating with often engaging personal stories and cautionary histories. They are ripe for entertainment and deserve people's attention, so why not put them on the television? Give them a chance to regain their dignity and earn the respect of society by making them the stars their own shows, like "Jersey Hobos" and "The Real Hobo Housewives of Orange County." On second thought, perhaps they are better off where they are.



Other hobo reality TV shows conceived but not used in this article:

America's Hobos Got Talent
Dancing With the Hobos
Hobo Elimidate
Hobo Idol
Homeless Eye for the Homebound Guy
Rail Rules
Top Hobo Chef

Wrestling: Fact or Fiction Answers

Here are the answers to last week's quiz. How did you do?

1. Barber - True

Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake would shave his opponents heads.

2. Astronaut - False

There hasn't been an astronaut wrestler yet in WWE, but never say never.

3. Tax Man - True

Irwin R. Shyster (I.R.S.) was a strong technical wrestler who teamed up with "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase to form Money Inc.

4. Artist - False

I think it's time that the WWE had an artist wrestler.

5. Turkey - True

Hector Guerrero, uncle of Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, appeared as a turkey named Gobbledy Gooker in the 1990 Survivor Series.

6. Pirate - True

Carl Ouellet assumed a pirate gimmick as Jean-Pierre LaFitte. Much later, Paul Burchill capitalized on the popularity of "The Pirates of the Caribbean" movies as an Englishman who believed himself to be descended from pirates who amazingly dressed just like Johnny Depp.

7. Mountie - True

The Mountie was forced to relinquish this gimmick at the behest of the Canadian government because they were worried it would undermine actual mounties' authority.

8. Retard - True

The WWE thought it would be a great idea to introduce a throwback wrestler, and then came up with Eugene, a retarded man who imitated the moves of classic wrestlers.

9. Clown - True

Doink the Clown would eventually be accompanied to the ring with a midget clown wrestler named Dink.

10. Architect - False

Sadly, no wrestler has assumed the mighty gimmick of an architect.

Rockford vs. Magnum

Since this season of television has come to a close, I've been looking for alternatives to fill the void. Thanks to Netflix, I can stream a slew of television programs into my room, so I recently started watching "The Rockford Files." I figured since the show was a forerunner to "Magnum, P.I.," I would like it. I had watched nearly the entire run of "Magnum, P.I." a few months ago and enjoyed it immensely.

While watching the inaugural season of "The Rockford Files," I noticed some striking similarities and differences with the two shows, and thought it would be fun to share them here.

SIMILARITIES
- Both Jim Rockford and Thomas Magnum are extremely likable characters in spite of their foibles.
-Although both are self employed detectives, neither makes much money from their cases. In Rockford's case, I don't recall if I ever saw him get paid his $200 a day plus expenses.
- Both shows have memorable instrumental theme songs.
- Both characters are strongly identified with iconic cars: Rockford with his Pontiac Firebird Esprit, and Magnum with Robin Masters' Ferrari 308 GTS.
- Both rely heavily on help from their friends, arguably to the point where they wouldn't have been able to break a case if it weren't for help.
- Both have somewhat dark backstories: Rockford with his prison time, and Magnum with the Vietnam War.
- The backdrops for each show, Los Angeles for Rockford and Hawaii for Magnum, are characters themselves.
- Both dislike using guns.

DIFFERENCES
- While Magnum enjoys the digs of Robin's Nest, Rockford lives in a mobile home in a Malibu Beach parking lot.
- Both get involved in cases that involve attractive women, but Rockford is far more successful at closing the deal.
- With his Navy background, Magnum is a slightly more effective fighter than Rockford. Rockford seems to get beat up or knocked out in every episode.
- Rockford gets taken for rides, both literally and figuratively far more than Magnum does.
- Jim Rockford is clean-shaven, while Thomas Magnum sports a manly mustache.

It's also interesting to note how different Rockford is in the movie pilot. The movie is the only time I remember him not getting beat up. In fact, he completely outsmarts the muscle-bound bad guy in the men's room. He also shoots down a single-engine plane with a revolver—a magic revolver that shoots more than six shots without reloading. So clearly they had to nerf him. But with Magnum, they countered his weaknesses with one of the manliest mustaches since Sam Elliot. I think that gives him a one-up on Rockford.

Wrestling: Fact or Fiction

In the vein of "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction," I'm going to present several professional wrestling gimmicks from the WWE. Some will be fact and some will be fiction, and it's your job to figure out which are which. For some of you this will be pretty easy, but for others it will be ridiculous. Post your answers (fact/fiction) in the comments section. Answers will follow next week.
___

1. Barber

The Barber would shave the heads of his opponents after defeating them. He hosted a segment called the "Barber Shop" where he would interview fellow wrestlers in a barber shop set in the ring.

2. Astronaut

The Astronaut would walk to the ring in a NASA spacesuit. He was prone to monologuing in overly dramatic fashion about returning to Earth, despite already being here. His finishing move was known as the "Final Countdown."

3. Tax Man

The Tax Man wore glasses, a short-sleeved dress shirt with suspenders and dark dress slacks. His theme song was the sound of typing with a carriage return. His finishing move was called the "Stock Market Crash."

4. Artist

The Artist would come to the ring with various art tools, like brushes and an easel. After defeating his opponents, he would often paint a quick, sloppy portrait of them. He hosted a segment called the "Artist's Corner," where he would interview wrestlers while he painted, often badly.

5. Turkey

For weeks, fans wondered what was in the giant egg that was spotlighted in weekly episodes, when finally it hatched and out a came ... a giant Turkey. The Turkey walked to the ring and danced around ... and was subsequently never heard from again until years later when he showed up in a battle royale.

6. Pirate

The rotund Pirate was French and a descendant of pirates. He came complete with an eye patch over his glass eye. His finishing move was called "Le Cannonball."

7. Mountie

The Mountie wore a typical mountie uniform. Instead of enforcing the general law, he enforced his own as he saw fit. Thus, he wasn't really a good guy. His theme song, which he sang, mentioned that "he always got his man."

8. Retard

The Retard was a thirty-year-old man with the mind of a child. Despite this, they let him wrestle. In the ring, he would imitate the moves of his favorite wrestlers.

9. Clown

The Clown was dressed in colorful garb with bright green hair and a red nose. His entrance music was stereotypical clown music, with slide whistles. His finishing move was called the "Whoopie Cushion."


10. Architect

The Architect originally designed houses for wealthy wrestling heels. He would usually accompany them to the ring like a manager, standing outside the ring while pounding his fist on the mat and pointing at blueprints. He only wrestled a handful of times, and had a finisher called the "Flying Buttress."
___

And here's one gimmick I couldn't make up even if I wanted to. Enjoy this classic moment in wrestling: the Shockmaster. You'll have to watch till the end for the payoff.

Never Try to Catch Up on "Lost" By Reading Full Episode Recaps While Watching a David Lynch Movie

First of all, doing something like that is somewhat Lynchian in theory, and also illogical. Reading about "Lost" is similar to what I've heard about studying philosophy: it's like trying to scratch an itch on your foot through your shoe. And trying to follow any Lynch movie, let alone "Wild at Heart," is like trying to make heads or tails about a frog who can sing and fly, but who is really a rabbit that can neither sing nor fly, but instead can cook pancakes.

In the end, knowing "Lost" and not knowing "Lost" make only a slight bit of difference in understanding how all the characters end up together in the end. And a David Lynch movie will be a David Lynch movie regardless of whether you pay full attention or not. In both, you will have constant WTF moments.

So in that sense, reading about "Lost" while watching a David Lynch movie is simply to resign yourself to the understanding that you definitely will not get either. It's not the worst thing you can do in the world, but it is a lot like waisting time in a bar, staring into space trying to understand the inner workings of the Wurlitzer in the corner hidden behind the 7-foot tall goo goo monster that's just minding it's business. Oh, plus the bar is really a swap meet.

The New "A-Team"

I was going to bring this up a while back, but there's a few things that bother me about what I've seen in the new "A-Team" movie trailer, and it's not the lack of Mr. T. In the current trailer, B.A. Barracus, played by MMA fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, hums the "A-Team" television theme song. Now is this meta, or just stupid? I lean toward stupid, not knowing what the context is. But even with a reasonable setup, I don't understand why you would do something like that. Did the filmmakers think that would be a funny nod to the original show? Like how it's funny to show the van get crushed? Because that wasn't funny at all. In fact that kind of pissed me off. It's like blowing up the General Lee. The van was the fifth A-Team member before they added characters in the fifth season. Crushing it is like killing off Face or Murdock.

Also, while watching the trailer, I lamented the fact that they would likely forgo the use of old style AK-47s and M-16s. I also wondered how many people were not going to die in this movie. If you watched the original show, you'd understand.

And lastly, who designed the poster? Up until this poster, I considered "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" to have the worst poster of the last year. A giant Sarah Jessica Parker horse-face plastered across anything is not the best way to sell a product. But this one has set new standards. What's going on with the contrast? Why are these guys getting blasted by the sun? Couldn't they powder their noses, I'm actually blinded by this poster. What kind of cameraman couldn't fit their faces into frame? And did they go and add more wrinkles? These guys are so high-def, you can practically climb into their pores. And so much hair. Instead of Hannibal, Face, B.A., and Murdock, they should call them Beard, Beard, Mohawk, and Stubble.

In the end, I will still see the movie, but for much more different reasons than being fond of the original show. I hope it's the train wreck that I'm looking forward to seeing. If it's not, I might just have to bust out the old AK and not hit anything until I'm just close enough to punch somebody out.

The Pitch - Gay Detective Show

During dinner I was thinking about how many procedurals on TV rely on certain gimmicks, but what really brings viewers back to watch week after week are the characters and their relationships. One of the most popular elements of such television shows is the sexual tension between the two leads (Bones, Castle, Moonlighting, Remington Steele). And in many of these shows, the jumping the shark moment is generally when the leads get together (Caroline in the City, Friends, X-Files). Then I thought about how some shows don't necessarily pair leads of opposite sexes (Law & Order, Numbers, Two and a Half Men). But why wouldn't it be possible to have two guys or two women gradually gravitate toward one another and possible fall in love?

The idea I have thus far is rather amoebic, and hasn't been thought out too far. A show about a detective agency like Remington Steele would provide a solid, tried-and-true backdrop. Perhaps the show could be like Simon & Simon, but instead of being brothers, they're not, plus they're gay, but that's not evident from the beginning. I don't think their sexual inclination needs to be a driving element of the show, particularly early on. In fact, I'd rather have it appear as though each of them may be straight. Or maybe just one. Either way, they'd be drawn closer together through common interests and goals, finally realizing near the end of the series that they really do love each other and want to be together forever.

I can understand why some people might be bothered by this. A lot of people would say they might watch a show like this. But while realistic depictions of homosexuality have been increasingly accepted by television viewers, it has been done somewhat through humor at gays' expense. Will & Grace was a hugely successful show with gay characters featured prominently. However it still smacks of gay blackface in much the same way The Big Bang Theory is comedy as nerd blackface. If the show weren't couching itself in humor, such a relationship could prove to be too much for the average audience to handle.

I can't imagine any network progressive enough to take the risk of putting a show like this on the air. It wouldn't get past the pitch phase, and even if the show was produced without the network explicitly knowing where the creators wanted to take the show, it's doubtful they would approve. However, especially if written well with likable characters, why would sexual orientation have to be an issue? As long as it's compelling, responsible television and not meant to be spectacle, it could prove to be a touching premise in the end. And if they still want to pass, Xena did it. They might have been women, but they were pretty masculine women. Note, I didn't use a comma after "pretty."

Celebrity Sightings - Castle Special Edition

For all of Friday, our neighborhood was home to the cast and crew of ABC's Castle. I don't watch much television, so when I say that I am a regular Castle watcher, it means something. Today was the final shoot of the season, so the scenes they shot today will be appearing in the season finale.

The cast and crew were especially nice, as they had pretty much invaded our neighborhood for the last couple of days, taking up street parking with their prop and equipment trucks. However I got the feeling that even if they weren't on location in someone's backyard, they still would have been nice. I met and talked to several of the crew who were kind enough to chat with me about the show, the industry, and their jobs. Everybody had a story, and they were all interesting to talk to.

And we did get to meet the two stars of the show, Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion. They seemed genuinely pleased to greet us, and were kind enough to sign for us. I had my copy of Firefly signed by Nathan Fillion, and Sister C had Stana Katic sign her copy of Stiletto. Was Stana Katic ever surprised by that. For those who don't know, Stiletto was one of her earlier starring roles. It is an enjoyable film, and someday I'll get around to writing a review for it. Nathan Fillion was even kind enough to take a picture with me and Sister C:

As for what they filmed, I don't really want to spoil it, but here's a little preview: They visit the ******** house, and ********* him while his *** **** are ****ing ******. Oh, and Beckett wears her red jacket again. Oops, I've said too much.

Thanks to the cast and crew of Castle. The show is great, and I look forward to checking out the season finale on May 17.

Shitty TV Review - Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction

In the late '90s when Fox used to have shows like The X-Files and classic Simpsons, they also had a little show that failed to find it's audience called Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction. For about an hour, the show, originally hosted by James Brolin but more memorably by Commander Riker, Jonathan Frakes, wasted viewers' time with five stories, some of which were fact, some of which were fiction, but they left the viewers guessing until the end. But in the end it never really mattered which were true or not, since they were all B.S. no matter how much research existed to verify their factuality. The show was really about how ridiculous TV could be.

First of all, the show had a host and a narrator, both of whom introduced themselves. They actually attached their names to this product, as if they had faith in it. For the first of its four seasons Beyond Belief was hosted by James Brolin, with the following three seasons hosted by Jonathan Frakes. The original narrator was Don LaFontaine, with the last season narrated by Campbell Lane. After each segment, Jonathan Frakes would recap each story, finishing off with one of the worst puns ever written that somehow tied into each story. The subsequent story recap would then try to steal the crown from the previous pun. And every time he did this, he did it with the biggest shit-eating grin on television. For that alone, the show was worth it.

Story segments usually had a supernatural slant to each of them, but all were poorly acted and staged. Imagine the reenactment segments on America's Most Wanted, but whereas they tried to make them look real by filming it on video, Beyond Belief instead put the same over/non-acting on film. I'd be surprised to hear if anybody featured in the story segments went on to have bigger, better careers.

Sister C's and my favorite segment is the one aptly titled, "They Towed My Car." In the episode, a guy in a dirty, seaweed covered suit wanders around the town muttering, "they towed ... my car." Nobody helps him except for this one kid. The guy leads him to a car and indicates that he wants the kid to open the trunk. When the kid does as he is told, the trunk opens to reveal the guy in the suit, dead. Now was this fact? Or were they just towing you along. Damn, I guess writing shitty puns is harder than it sounds.

The Dick Clark produced Beyond the Belief is unavailable on DVD, unless you count the bootlegs by the shows large German fan base. However it can be seen on the cable-only Chiller Network if you so dare, and dare you should.

My shitty TV rating: 9 turds out of 10. The stuff of legends.

Whhhy? - James Bond Jr.

Cartoons don't have to make sense. That's one the advantages to the medium. But it bothers me when the creators simply insult the intelligence of their audience. Thinking about James Bond Jr. hurts my brain. I know it's been discussed to no end, but I thought I'd give it a try. I'm not even going to bother with the content of the show, and will stick solely to the opening theme. Here are the lyrics:

Bond! James Bond Junior
No one can stop him, but SCUM always trys
Young Bond cuts through each web of spies!
He learned the game from his uncle James
Now he's heir to the name... James Bond!
James Bond Jr.!

Look out he's coming through
He's got a job to do
While he rescues the girl
James Bond Junior chases SCUM...
...Around the world!

Of course the elephant in the room is why James Bond Jr. is named James Bond Jr. when he's James Bond's nephew. (From hereafter I'll refer to Uncle Bond as "007" and Jr. as "Junior" to make things clearer.) This pissed off anyone who's seen the show, including children and babies. Yes, babies. The most commonly held theory on why he's "heir to the name" is that his father, 007's brother, is also named James Bond. This would be stupid of course, unless their father was an ass much like how George Foreman named all his children "George" or variations thereof. But I'd like to propose a few alternate theories. Maybe it's not 007's brother, but sister who married another James Bond. The name can't be that uncommon, especially when out of all spies, James Bond is probably the most famous. My other theory is that when the song says that 007 is Junior's Uncle that means that Junior is not necessarily 007's nephew, but his "nephew." 007 hooks up with a lot of chicks. It's not entirely unfathomable that he could have hooked up with his brother's wife.

The second thing that bothers me about the song is that Junior "learned the game from his Uncle James." If the song is referring to the spy game, then what the hell is 007 doing? He's compromising Britain and the world's security by revealing secrets and practices to a snot-nose kid. But if it's the game of love, then what is "Uncle" 007 doing and what makes Junior qualified to save the world?

Then there's S.C.U.M. (Saboteurs and Criminals United in Mayhem). Good job coming up with an acronym that both describes what you do and why nobody should trust your organization. I know toy execs are in love with acronyms, but don't treat kids like idiots. It's not like actual bad companies like Enron have stupid acronym names like E.V.I.L. (Evil Vicious Incontinent Lawyers). Even kids start to wonder why the bad guys picked such a poor name.

If all this could be gleaned from the opening theme alone, then just consider the number of issues there were in the TV show. I'm not even going to bother covering how everyone in the show is a descendant from someone in the movies, excepting the baddies, most of whom are the actually baddies from the movies even though most of them are dead. I won't even cover how super spy 007 has trouble dispatching each of these guys, yet Junior is able to outwit the lot of them. So I ask why, James Bond Jr.? Whhhy?!

The Pitch - Police Academy Babies

During the '80s and early '90s there was no shortage of animated spin-offs to live-action movies. Beetlejuice, Ghostbusters, Little Shop of Horrors, Rambo, Robocop, Teen Wolf, and The Toxic Avenger were a few of the many films that were questionably spun-off into animated programs targeting children. None of these were particularly successful, and most certainly none of these surpassed the original films on which they were based. In most cases, the original films were aimed at mature audiences and contained content not suitable for children, and often times it was that content that gave films like Rambo and Robocop their edge. So when translated into animated form, much of the essence of these films was clearly lost. Police Academy: The Animated Series was another such show that failed to gain an audience.

With all of the movie series' characters present, including Carey Mahoney who would not appear in subsequent films in the series, it seemed like a surefire hit. After all the movies themselves were little more than live-action cartoon comedies appealing to adolescents. The problem with Police Academy as with all those other films was the same: not enough differentiation toward the extreme. These series were all watered down versions of the original. Aside from being animated, they offered no novelty. But not all animated spin-offs fared poorly. One show that garnered a little more success while carving out a new audience for itself was Jim Henson's Muppet Babies.

Jim Henson's Muppet Babies took the lovable characters from The Muppet Show, and transplanted them, as babies, into a children's nursery. The characters, for the most part, retained their personalities, but they now had to navigate the world of children through their imagination. The idea was a creative breakthrough, as the animated format allowed the Muppet babies to have adventures they couldn't otherwise have had in the live-action world. By presenting the Muppets as babies, producers of the show were able to push hard for the youth demographic which was receptive to the show. Others shows attempted similar schemes, like The Flintstone Kids and A Pup Named Scooby Doo, but they didn't push it as far as Muppet Babies did to really differentiate themselves as their own properties apart from their parental sources.

So Muppet Babies succeeded where so many others failed. But second chances are still possible, and with the current news of a Police Academy reboot, perhaps it's time to rethink this animated spin-off approach with Muppet Babies in mind. Police Academy: The Animated Series might not have been a bad idea, but Police Academy Babies would have been a laugh riot. Just like Muppet Babies, transplant all of the characters from Police Academy into a nursery as babies, remove the nanny, and sit back as they maintain order amongst the rest of the unruly babies. They would retain most of their characteristic idiosyncrasies, such as Moses Hightower's superhuman strength, Larvell Jones gift of mimicry, and Eugene Tackleberry's gung-ho nature.

Typical crimes could include missing baby food. Laverne Hooks could drive her police cruiser Big Wheels recklessly as she followed a suspect on his tricycle. Then, with the thief hiding inside a playhouse, Hightower could show up to lift the house up singlehandedly thus exposing the culprit. Of course Captain Harris and Proctor would be up to their old habits of trying to undermine Commandant Lassard and obtain his position. The action and storylines would be absurd, which would not only follow in the spirit of the films, but could also make the animated show memorable in its own right. Or push the show beyond the nursery into a world filled with baby citizens. The adventures wouldn't have to stop there, as the next step would be Police Academy Babies in Space. The possibilities are limitless.

This formula need not apply only to Police Academy, but can be applied to virtually any other film out there. Baby Rambo. Baby Robocop. Baby Total Recall. Baby Men in Black. The titles alone conjure up images and the rest just writes itself. The series don't even have to have original storylines, they can just copy the films with all of the characters replaced by baby versions. So, Hollywood, if you plan on spinning off any animated kid shows in the near future, you might want to consider baby-fying them. After all, it did work for the Muppets.

A look back at the original SNL

It's strange. I've recently finished watching the first five years of Saturday Night Live and have taken the time to reflect on my experience with the show as well as that of my parents. My acquaintance with SNL has spanned about 18 years, and I am now roughly at the age my parents were when the show first premiered and when they became fans. So it is strange to me to compare my feelings about SNL during it's formative years with those of my parents way back when.

My SNL experience probably began around 1992. For me, I largely associate SNL with that year's outstanding cast that consisted of Ellen Cleghorne, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Melanie Hutsell, Michael McKean, Tim Meadows, Mike Myers, Kevin Nealon, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Julia Sweeney, Al Franken, Norm MacDonald, Jay Mohr, and Sarah Silverman. And while it's become passe to say that SNL is stale, or no longer edgy with each passing year, I'd like to believe that this group was a high point in the history of SNL. There are arguably bigger stars from earlier iterations, but there were few lineups that featured as strong an ensemble, as they created memorable characters and sketches together. Although we mourned the losses of the talented Chris Farley and Phil Hartman, most of the rest of these actors are still steadily at work today, with at least two of them, Myers and Sandler, transformed into bona fide movie stars. So how does that compare with the original cast?

Dan Akroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Laraine Newman, and Gilda Radner. Bill Murray would later join the cast following Chase's departure, with Michael O'Donoghue, Tom Davis, Al Franken, Don Novello, and Paul Shaffer featured more and more up through 1980. That was a lot of talent to contain on one stage, but back in 1975, they were just kids, the Not Ready For Primetime Players. It took the show a while to find its rhythm. The format of the first episode hosted by George Carlin was nothing like the show today. Or even like the shows a few weeks away. Heck, even the title of the show was different, being originally named "NBC's Saturday Night" as Howard Cosell's ABC program held the rights to the eventual title. Carlin only performed stand up in several bits and wasn't featured in any of the sketches. Two musical guests, Billy Preston and Janis Ian, each performed two pieces. And two comedians, Andy Kaufman and Valri Bromfield, had featured acts.

The early shows more resembled the variety shows of the time than they do today's sketch driven show. But the group that Lorne Michaels assembled was talented, and it was hard to deny that. So as the show continued, the focus shifted more toward the Not Ready For Primetime Players and their skits. Where once sketches were constructed around the host with the SNL cast supporting him or her, the sketches started focusing on the Not Ready For Primetime Players with the hosts playing support. Certain characters and sketches became recurring favorites, and stars were made.

Watching it fresh, not all of the sketches are comedy classics. But what was evident from watching an early SNL episode, and what is lacking from the show nowadays, was that electric energy in the air. This show was doing something new and innovative, and it was damn funny, too. First season episodes frequently had airtime to kill with the hosts asked to fill time, but that added to the sense of newness and spontaneity. Now most SNL episodes run like clockwork with fewer genuine moments. A lot of people give Jimmy Fallon flak for not having been able to keep a straight face in sketches, but he was having fun and enjoying the moment. It seems almost absurd to dislike someone, even an actor in the sketch, for laughing at something that's supposed to be funny.

A lot of early sketches had content which could be deemed questionable today, such as one that featured Chevy Chase slowly rolling a joint, pulling up his sleeve and tying a rubber tube around his arm, before attempting to shove the unlit joint into his vein. Don Pardo (Yup, he was there from the beginning) delivers the killer punchline, "Why do you think they call it dope?" Having grown up in the age of cultural sensitivity and political correctness, we're so concerned about how others might feel that there's a lot of fun lost. I think that Belushi's samurai Futaba was a wonderful homage to chanbara (samurai) characters, as his portrayal, while comical, was far less parody than it was a strange appreciation for the stoicism of Japanese samurai.

When I asked my mom and dad separately about SNL, they both smiled. My father, a Japanese immigrant, was living and working in New York when the show debuted. He introduced SNL to my mother some years later when he moved to L.A. and courted her. My father still remembers that first cast, and laughed when he thought about the Coneheads. My mother was particularly tickled by Todd diLamuca and Lisa Loopner, the Nerds. Just saying, "That was so funny I forgot to laugh," causes her to giggle hysterically.

I came into the picture a little after the original SNL finished up its run in 1980. Another 12 years after that I picked up where my parents left off watching the show. I recalled later how my father had a fondness for movies starring some of the original cast members, a fondness which he passed on to me. My mother, too, was also the one who introduced me to National Lampoon's Animal House when I was very young. My parents still watch the show now, irregularly, but somehow I doubt that it holds the same amusement and place in their hearts as those first five years did. And I suppose I could say the same about myself and when I first starting watching Operaman, and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, and Simon who likes to do drawings.

I'll miss you, Coco!

And the masturbating bear, too.

Tonight was the last Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. I must admit that I was a lapsed Conan fan. When I started working after I got out of college, I rarely found the time to watch Late Night as sleeping became more important with respect to my job performance. But even with the advent of DVRs and Hulu, I still found myself too busy to watch Conan.

Too busy to watch Conan... It sounds so strange.

Then all of this happened. I had never thought of a world without Conan on the air. In all the years I didn't watch, I felt safe, knowing that he and his crew were out there making people happy. Now the prospect of him going bye-bye had me panicked. So I started watching the show again. I went to the rally and stood there in the freezing rain with my friend and hundreds of other fans. I rewatched old episodes I had recorded, and scoured youtube for old bits. And in all of this I remembered why I enjoyed Conan so much.

Whale Week. Preparation-H Raymond. Andy Blitz as that terrible fan with the cheers. Frankenstein wastes a minute of your time. So many fond memories. Heck, even my blog name (which has also been my gamer tag) is a Conan reference. I have had so many fond memories of watching the show while it was still Late Night with Conan O'Brien, back when Andy was just a sidekick and before Smigel had his hand stuffed up Triumph's rear. I always went to bed happy, having had a good laugh or two while watching the show.

So here's to Conan. I hope you get back on the air as soon as the litigation will allow you. No matter what, I'm sure it'll be fun, and this time I promise to watch.